Muslim Dating in Islam
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25/01/2007 10:54:34 AMFirst of all defining dating would be much helpful. in the west ,dating means that you will be indulging in physical intimacy.
in the islamic contex however we can find the all time famous view that dating its absolutely haram. but in a book by yusuf al -qaradawi , he mentions that some scholars have understand form the hadith, (when the prophet asked a man who wants to marry an Ansar gal if he had looked at her? )
some scholar intepret this hadith that if a man aproaches the gals family and made a proposal, he may accompany her together with her father, family or some other chaperone to get to know her better.
personally living in this world and age..i think the islamic way of dating and getting to know someone through the above means isn't very relistic. first of all, the family might get to know the man whoz proposing, but the gal may not know abt him properly, character and behaviour.
with so many sleezy people, dishonesty and greed... the western style dating and the islamic 'dating' are quite risky. i think people should mix around each other as good friends and do projects together or travel together(in groups). in that way people can get to know the behaviors and personality of the individual better. generally..i think people lack the maturity and fail to ask the right questions to themselves and the opposite sex. they dont observe enough traits and behaviour of the person and get emotionally involve too quickly.
the best way in my opinion is to strike a balance.first of all protect youself from abuse and taken advante off. get as much info u can about the person to give you an idea, if you are willing to be with him/her all yourlife with their negative traits behaviour. if you think he/she will be the ideal partner for you, if you guys can have an equal partnership and the respect you deserve..etc..
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26/01/2007 4:31:12 PMyea, ofcourse you have to date. how then will you get to know someone?? Arrange marraige is a joke! its a nasty means for parents to lure you to marry someone that will be their best friend.
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28/01/2007 8:56:11 PMLOL... okay thingi.....
well.. to some extent I'd agree about the notion of arranged marriages..
I mean, if a guy or a girl truly wants to be with someone.. why would you essentially bother about the person being deemed "acceptable" to the family members?
i personally was never raised in an atmosphere where arranged marriages are a norm, and yeah i find it quite strange myself..
then again i cant speak for those who grew up in such an environment...
i dont mean to sound critical.. but why can't you hook up with who you want to hook up with?
age old question i know...
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1/02/2007 9:15:29 AMwell its is mentioned in the quran and hadith, a 'sane' man and woman can decide to get married and complete marriage without the need of a 'wali' or a qadi.
it could be interpreted as, if you want to hook up with someone.. you can..
but is it for the right reasons, the reasons are also mentioned in a hadith, the reasons you can marry a woman for specifically, but it could just as well be valid for a man.
Narrated Abu Huraira: "The Prophet, peace be upon him, said, `A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you will be a loser.'"
Interpretation vary i guess..
on another note, i think yes, group outings, meeting the opposite sex at work or other engagements is a good way to expose yourself and meet potential partners. Meeting people online is also convenient.. here we are talkign about such things..
but again.. people or sheikhs would say a man and woman in a chatroom are 'alone' and that is sin
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1/02/2007 12:14:17 PMhaha...in a chat room..wooo im sining here alrite. ;)
malt, tht hadith is quite controvicial( i havent hear tht a man and woman can marry w/o a wali)....hrmmm...wht are we doing then to introduce our potential mate to our parents!!! hack!!! i should just elope w/o a wali :D
hey but a mutah marraige is always an option ;) u can try before u buy :D
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2/02/2007 12:06:03 AMa mutaa marriage! gosh thats just a reason to have sex before u commit urself to the "real" marriage. well, to each its own.
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8/02/2007 6:44:39 PMwell i've always though muta marriage are just another means of getting laid, but unfortunately jusified using Islam.
I agree Masalle, each to his/her own.
hmmmm... what I do wonder though.. is what a religious woman" is defined by, by way of the hadith posted by malt.
mind you i guess it's a subjective notion, defined by what each person sees as 'religious'...considering relationships/perceptions in islam often vary to one degree to another...
then again I'm quite tired of the idea of how women are to be constantly 'percieved' as some sort 'preservation' tool that's supposed to keep a girl 'pure' to be considered 'marriable'
while muslms could argue of the benfits of such an idea, it causes enormos pressure on many girls because of this constraints by way of 'perception'...
well..that's my 2 cents for the day :)
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12/03/2007 3:58:28 PMModerator Comment
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13/03/2007 2:47:35 PMJust go for it, heck live together first. It's absolutely necessary since people today are generally totally **** up, and you can't tell who is or isn't without actually spending an extended amount of time with them. Marriage also carries a lot of risks, for the guy, incase of divorce you risk the bride-price, not to mention everything else that can get sucked out of you by the females, they'll bleed you dry unless you can beat them up and stick them in a kitchen or bedroom without access to a lawyer. You definitely need to know for certain that your choice is right. Temporary marriage in this case is really a good idea, time for a conversion to the Shia dictrine, it'll save you much grief later (who knows? maybe even in the afterlife, but lets concentrate on this one first shall we?)
Don't rely on faith! The Moors relied on faith, the Palestinians rely on faith, look what happens to them!
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14/03/2007 2:42:36 PMlooooooooooool psychedelic mullah. sorry i'm cracking up at that....
interesting response though... kind of fuelled by a hint of bitterness at the frustrations of modern relationships..
don't entirely blame you.
i seem to encounter a lot of people who think temporary marriage, or mutaa is an alternative... i mean really, you'd seriously convert to a whole IDEOLOGY, on the basis of getting what you want in a relationship??
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16/08/2007 6:06:03 AMI came to know AB from the internet in 1998, and she was 12 years younger than me. She seems hospitable and simple. A production operator, and the only thing that turns me off is she is obese.
But persistent wooing from her by calls to my Hp, I gave in and married the girl who yearns for me. After marriage I found she was not virgin as she claimed, and I expressed my dissapointment. But I forgave her, and carried on believing that it was fated. By 2005, I had a one year old child (so beautiful he is), and survived an attempt to kill me (via toxic banned health supplements) and AB is deep into black magic after learning stuff from her friend LH and BD and seeking divorce from me to financially benefit from the 205K house bought from HDB under joint tenancy but paid by me wholly. Worst still AB seems to be also having intimate affairs with other women. Syariah court did not believe my story, and awarded AB 50% of house money, and custody of our son.
After getting money and son custody, the son was let off to me, as she knows I care enough to look after him, and she roams free. Again I tried to get custody from Syariah Court only to be turned down. AB, is said to be sleeping with African men, to satisfy her lust.
Today Im the big loser, with the controversial Syariah Court orders against me, I have to pay mutaah idah to a Satanist, and child maintenance when actually Im taking care of the child.
My only option is to find a country where I can get real justice from Syariah court insyallah. But I can't force myself to leave Singapore, my beloved country.
Please dont marry the wrong girl, it will destroy you. Today I live for my son only and with faith in Allah swt only, nothing more nothing less.
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Okay, well I have to ask...
What are your opinions on dating?
Do you think it's a neccessary procedure in today's times? Lol.. that sounded like preparing for an operation or something..
what i mean is.. compared to an 'islamic' context, how do you feel about 'dating' someone as ameans of getting to know them?
And what would you define as Dating?
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