I have been with my bf for almost 6 years. The problem is that my mum is not willing to accept him into the family. Maybe it is due to his age. He is 20 years older than I am. But to me, age is just a matter of numbers and it is fate that bring us together... I have voiced out to my mum several times about settling down with him. She is totally against it and the hurting part is that she accused him of using 'black magic', in order to win my heart. She even reprimanded me when I brought back food cooked by him. She warned me not to eat the food as I may fall into his trap. It was so hurting each time she said that.. She did not even allow him to come to our house for hari raya, being afraid that he may bring along 'ill stuffs' into the house... These are just some of the hurting things that happen to me throughout these years. I have been keeping quiet all this while. I don't want to raise my voice to my mum or simply leave home. I always hope for her understanding but I doubt I will get even a tiny bit. I really feel very depressed with the life I am going through and my heart is crying out loud... I am really suffering emotionally with no one to turn to... Please advise me and give me your support.
250 points 1votes 12/09/2008 5:13:26 AM by lya rookie Post Reply ShareDear lya,
Being together for 6 years is no easy feat, and under your circumstances, either party could have thrown in the towel in this relationship.
Understanding the culture and background of our parents, they would rather believe gossips, house wives tales and remedies of old. Not to forget our Asian thing about family reputation at stake. One thing is that if that person (your boyfriend) you see is the one for life, sister you have the right to stand up for your life, love and the love of your life. True, happiness in the family also revolves around either parties parents.
Since your mother accuses him of using black magic on you. The Quran has mention those who uses black magic or any magic is an act of kufr. One method is for him to expedite his haj or umrah. One he fulfill his obligation as a muslim, secondly which self righteous muslim would be involved magics? Why not you perform the umrah also sis, as this also shows people that you are already a mature adult and also a chance for you to focus on Allah (swt).
We all are so engrossed in going about our daily lives, and we all forget the purpose of our lives. And that we need to dzikir and pray earnestly to Allah (swt). Do not keep quiet sister, pray (http://www.duas.org/worries.ht...).
One thing is that when one prays, one mind is able to think clearer, you are able to be focused, focused to solve the matter. Brooding on the matter, does not bring you places.
Thinking of the problem as mountain, and beyond this mountain is happiness. We all encounter mountains upon mountains of problem. Sometimes the solution in beyond that mountain, but sometimes you have to climb several mountains. But one thing for sure, when you overcome that mountain with the one you love, who is will to follow you into the valleys and into the highest mountain, there is not a place that both of you will be defeated.
Don't forget Allah (swt) and the teaching of our prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Answers are there.
Patience my dear. It is strange how people have problem with age of marriage. Khadijah r.a. married with Prophet Muhammad p.b.uh when she is 20+ older than him, and no Muslim born of one had the issue? With our deep respect to our prophet, I think the issue of marriage is not of age, rather of trust and acceptance as a family in whole.
I guess this problem had to be addressed. Men marrying a younger women is much a lesser issue. Women grew emotionally matured at a younger age than men. So I.M.O, I feel there is no harm in marriage.
Are you sure you wish to stop receiving email alerts for this Question?
Yes No close loading...