Salam brothers and sisters,
this is my first time here, so I hope my question will nt give offence.
I had this experience a couple of months ago. A mutual , set me up with a blind date. (gasps! yes i know). I agreed to go since the guy seemed like a nice person.
anyway during our meal, this guy and I somehow, ended up talking about the headscarf/ tudung.
Btw I use a tudung, as I belief that God wants muslim women to cover their aurat.
But during our conversation this guy kept insisting that all muslim women should also use the tudung and it was our responsibility to educate the muslimah around me.
Although I do agree that muslims should remind each other, I also believe that the best advice is via own examples and good behaviour. Personally I don't feel comfortable nagging or presurrising others around to conform to my beliefs. I may advise a fellow muslim about 3 times, but after that I will just let them be. Nor do I believe in being too pushy about making my muslimah friends use the scarf. I am also aware that some women may face difficulty getting a job with a scarf, and may have no choice if they have to support their family.
Sad to say, the guy was not happy with my opinions. In fact, he seemed unhappy and said I was not doing my "duty" as muslim. He seemed dissapointed that I have not been actively reminding women to use the tudung.
Having said that he admitted, that he has been considered "pushy" by others around him, inlcuing his own brother-in-law and his own sister.
But was I wrong, to have different opinion? I personally don't think it's good to be pushy about the tudung.
You're doing fine don't worry. Islam is not about force.
Rasulullah S.A.W. has never forced anyone to embrace Islam.
The guy you dated, desires for perfection whilst you have opinions based on environment. Neither of you are wrong. It's just that in a secular community like Singapore, balance is an issue that gets tougher.
Balancing between our ideal Islamic practices, and to maintain peace & harmony whilst being a multi-religious society - and image we need to portray that muslims can live in peace with others.
So just like everyone has different fingerprints, everyone has differences in understanding this balance.
So do your duty, to the best of your ability. From there on, we leave it to the Almighty. Insyaallah.
Thanks, for the feedback and comments.
it made me feel much better, and i believe most singaporeans muslims also prefer not to be too pushy, like me.
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