Hi all,
Need inputs as to what the customs are like in an Indian Muslim wedding..
Do they have what the Malay weddings have? As in flower baths and such? I heard flower baths are not practised anymore as it is not religiously correct, right?
I also heard that flower baths are done to see whether the bride is a virgin or not? Is this true? Also, do Indian muslim weddings have such a custom? To see if the bride is chaste or not?
I did both the combination of both Malay & Indian Muslim weddding as my hubby is an Indian Muslim. My henna was on Sat and Nikkah in Sun. There's no much a different at all. Its just that, there's no dowry involve except mahr.
Asked for dowry but his family wanted to follow the Indian Muslim style where the girl side will fork out most of the cash for the wedding.
My mak andam (Malay make-up artist) made me do a flower bath. Anyway I don't think there's no such thing as to see whether to check the bride is chaste or not.
Salam,
Coming from a peranakan background with mixed heritage (Indian and Malay), and having observed a few of my aunties and uncles get married, I also do not think that there is much of a difference.
However if the Indian family is a very traditional one, they would want to do some customs, to celebrate the bride coming into the family. For example there is the saree wearing ceremony, where the females of the Indian family would gift the bride with a saree, and teach her how to wear it. And those are still allowed, because it is a cultural custom with no religious undertones to it.
The act of the flower bath did have some problems in terms of why it was done. Some was to remove bad fortune, or as highlighted by the enquirer, to check the bride-to-be's status. Well, these are all not accepted in Islam. But I believe that if you do the bath, just as a form of hygiene and preparation (just like showering before going out), and that the flowers are just to scent the water to remove odours, then it is permissible. But you need to have the conviction that you are bathing for the purpose of hygiene and not for any other reasons which are not permitted by Islam.
So the conclusion is this: If you are marrying between cultures, it is permitted to marry according to whatever customs they have, and to take part in whatever traditions they have. BUT you have got to be sure that the reasons for the customs/ traditions are purely based on the culture, and have no implications whatsoever on religion. Always be sure, as you have pointed out, that there is no clash and conflict with stated religious principles (i.e. do not associate anything with God, and do not believe that any act has the power to remove bad fortune or give good fortune except by God etc etc.). If there are instances where you are doubtful and there is a sense of unease in you, it is best to not perform it.
I hope this helps.
Wassalam.
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