Q. define a succssful husband

That's a great question. Well, in this day and age, it's not as black and white as it used to be. Especially if a man has a working wife in the work force. In the past, a husband's role is to be the main breadwinner in the family and take care of his wife who stays at home, cooking and cleaning for him.

Nowadays, it'a shared responsibility, a husband should be mindful of the fact that a woman is very much capable of earning a living too. But especially if she is contributing to her family's income.

It's also just as important for the woman to recognise what her husband does for the family. Three of the most valuable things a husband can give to a wife are love, respect and attention. These things are what women find very assuring when they receive it. It is important and helps built trust for her, from him.

A good woman also helps build a great man and therefore, a good and successful husband. As the saying goes, behind every successful man, there is a woman.

i agree with foonosh. sociologists see men now as being displaced and confused of their role as a husband and father. we grew up watching how the older generations work and we internalize the values and the way of life that was in the past. shared responsibility was just an urban legend in the past and which something men laughed abt during their coffee break chats. but with the changing times, shared responsibility is a common term to be used in almost every household. and its true that behind every successful man, there is a woman. while behind every successful woman, there is a man insecure of his place and manhood.

...but ummmm...

why does anyone need to be 'behind' anyone?


well.. i'd think men sort of expect to be confused about role they play considering they too were confused about the apparent power they think they hold in family units...

i mean.. did you really think that a fragmented society has come about because men were 'sure' of their percieved authority?

i don't mean to step on any toes.. but changing times doesnt neccessarily point to an improvment for women.

let alone what role men are supposed to play.

reference from:
http://www.drphil.com/articles...
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The Role of the Man in the Family

According to Dr. Phil, if men want to be successful in their marriage and family life, they have to change and broaden their definition of what it means to be successful as a man. Being a good provider, protector, leader and teacher is a privilege that comes with responsibilities that many men aren't aware of.

A Provider:
Most men believe that being a good provider means supporting a family financially. It means much more than that. A man should also contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family. In order to do this, he must recognize that there are other currencies, in addition to money, that need to be provided.

A Protector:
This means more than beating up the guy next door if he insults your wife. It means protecting her self-esteem and self-worth as well as your children's. It can also mean protecting your way of life and guarding against any threats to the things that you and your family value.

A Leader:
Instead of waiting for your wife to take the initiative when you are having problems, take the lead. Get in the game and create what you want in your family instead of whining about your family situation. Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership. It's a 100/100 partnership. That means you give 100 percent. And remember, you get what you give.

A Teacher:
What are you teaching those around you — especially your children — with your behavior? It's important to provide a good example for your children, loved ones and community with both words and deeds. Set high standards and teach by doing.

So what's a woman supposed to do after ten years of marriage and four kids and the husband still walks around the garbage bag sitting in front of the back door? To top it off the woman is the only one handling all the bills all the grocery shopping all the household chores the medical the dental appts and everything in between after practicaly begging on her hands and knees for help in these areas and is just simply ignored as if she is non existant. The husband then starts bitching that the wife needs to get a job after the wife decides to go back to school after the youngest child is off to school so she does it does it all and that is still not enough he wants more she is supposed to go to school full time work full time and make sure kids homework is done along with her own and the husband still doesn't take out the trash or mow the grass or do the vehicle mantainanceand starts bitching about the GREASY unhealthy food he's cooking and the nightmare is knowing he's feeding it to the children while you're at work. Oh and that's not all you're not making time to draw up his business plan that he and his STUPID friends at work plan on venturing into with your skills of course. So when she finally gets sick of his crap and stands up to him he threatens to kick her out of the house she gathered all the information on and researched the best way to purchase and found the mortgage broker to put it "all together" as far as laegalities go. MUST BE CONVENIENT TO BE A MAN.
MY Solution is DIVORCE!!! I'm am sick and tired of doing for someone who could give a crap less about how I feel or what I have to say unless it is of interest to him. I am the disciplinarian, the budgeteer, the accountant, the teacher, the nurse, the psychologist, the ass wiper, the everything you can think of. HELLO!!! Am I invisible? Yes until NOW!! Now his butthole is puckering because now he is unsure of where he really stands now!! Because now he may have a small glimpse of what life might be like if I were not there to pick it all up for him.AHHH this only a passing moment something men like to call PMS. OH! What a surprise lies ahead for you you selfish, unconsiderate, self absorbed, person if you will. I DO NOT WANT this person to be a role model to my children who I bore the pains of labor and yes I had all of my children natural and I breast feed all six of them and to have a presumptous ass tell me that he could even think of uttering the threat of taking them from me because I stopped cooking and laundering for this LAZY excuse for a person. I DON"T THINK SO!!! And I'm about to prove it! I'm glad I'm working and going to school full time because it only builds my confidence in my self which I knew I had I just neede that little push from an ungrateful unappreciative excuse for a person. THANK YOU my dear husband. THANK YOU!!! So what is the husbands part in all this ? Well I guess I've never and will probably never know. Oh and befor anyone asks Yes I've gone the religious submisive part, I've done all that can be done to save this for my children, but I have come to realize through Psychotherapy and then some that the best I can do for my children is to get them out of this STUPID way of thinking and especially for my only son of six children,This is not the man I would be proud of raising. I must bolt befor it's too late for my children and befor I'm too old to move!!!

I have had enough . I have three children and work part-time because daycare is to high. I work with 12 three year olds on Tuesday and Thursday. And different ages off and on during the week at a church. My Kids range 10 yrs old and 2 - 2 yrear old twins. My husband owns his own business and thinks I could never make as much as he does. He thinks I need a real job. i think working with kids alday is as real as it could get . Then coming home to a husband who grips about the way and what I cook. my family is alway some type of subject for him to comment on. Believe me hisfamily is not perfect but heaven forbid you say anything! I love him but I think having sex everyday is overated and befor i met him I was a nimfo. I refuse to divorce him but am eager to change him . we've been together 3yrs married 11/2 years. Got any suggestions.

I agree with foonosh. Love, respect and attention is what a wife wants. If a husband cant give that, then he is a waste. Like mine. Married for 5 years with 1 kid. I feel that he is not a good role model. Am so glad that my kid is a girl and not a boy. I do not want sons because i do not want him to look upon my husband as a role model. He has tatoo, goes out with friends frequently, doesnt pray. He has his good points but his negative points are just too heavy. My hubby has destroyed my enthusiasm and love. I am a full time tuition teacher. i feel that thats the best job for me. Flexible and reasonably good pay. He doesnt fail to remind me how great he is not forcing me to go for a fulltime job. Now my solution is counselling. Just booked an appointment this Thursday. Hot mama, this is a quote i would like to tell you ' divorce is not an option when you have kids'. i think you must be a wonderful person because you are trying to save ur marriage. Please go for marriage counselling.Mary, i can sense your anger in your message. Smile for the sake of your children. Try. You can do it