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16/08/2007 12:03:13 PMHi there, well i try my best from my point of view... hope i wont hurt anyone's feelings.
Most of my friends gone thru thou. 1st, does ur parents n hers agree to your relation and future family? If yes, alhamdulillah... 2nd, she has to convert.. u know that right? May get the guidance at the Muslim converts ard the geylang area but the best is "the guidance from her own husband" 3rd.... must let her know the terms n condition so that she can prepare herslf... and if she willing to accept all of that - syukur.... as a new person to our religion, we have to guide them to the right path... Love is easy but building a family needs all the patience...
Pray for the best and hope for the best... Wish u good luck.
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17/08/2007 4:16:51 PMfirstly, explain to her what is the meaning of Islam, and why Islam. then see if she understands and want to apply Islam for herself. yes she must revert, but not because of marriage. b'cos there are cases where, ppl who revert to Islam because of marriage, but don't apply Islam in their daily lives, or when they are divorced, they go back to their previous faiths.
maybe u can try to bring her to darul arqam. they may have programs for situations like yours, which is quite common anyways. so insya Allah, may she be guided to the straight path. Amin
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28/08/2007 3:11:20 AMMy advice, forget Darul Arqam. They teach male converts there that they can beat their wives. "******" (deleted by moderator)
"*************" (deleted by moderator)
Male Muslims can marry women who are people of the book, but female Muslims cannot marry other than Muslim men. The reason? In the context of the verse that refers to this situation, at that time, the reason was to increase the Muslim ummah which was still at a low number. And thus, while Muslim men can sow their seeds elsewhere, Muslim women must remain the vessel for producing Muslim children. After all, the seeds come from the men.
In today's context, there are already a large number of Muslims, and we can be sure there won't be a dearth of Muslim any time soon.
And why should anyone convert just to get married? What's the difference between this and legalising sex? So if tomorrow anyone converts for the sake of marriage, it's ok? Even though in their hearts, they don't care about or understand the religion?
And what better way to portray Islam in a bad light, than to say "You know she must convert, right?". How about we change the dialogue to something like: Alhamdullillah, you are getting married, and may Allah bless you both with hidayah, and accept her with kindness and compassion, and not some dogmatic idea that you have no clue about.
Show me where in the Quran that God says we must convert to marry? Islam is not a religion like putting on clothes that you can put on and hey, presto, you are a Muslim.
If you believe in ONE GOD, and remain patient, I'm sure God will accept that sincerity. It can't be worse than a Muslim who profess a belief in one God, but behave like an animal with no principles? Like some Muslim men in Malaysia who love gang-banging girls and record it for all to see?
Brother, lead your wife with love and compassion, and when she is ready, let her submit to Islam with love for God, and not just out of love for you.
I hope you will remain strong and keep constant prayers with Allah.
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9/09/2007 2:50:25 AMSalaam everyone esp ai,
Well my gf is also non-muslim, and in fact she's a methodist. I'm sure you know what you would be going through. First is to help you on what our religion says to be fair right, ai?
It is true that in Quran verse 2:256 says "Let there be no compulsion in religion.." In your case in sura Al Maidah 5:5 says " This day are all good things are lawful to you..And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the scripture (Jews and Christians)..." Also in Al-Baqarah 2:221 " Wed not idolatress till they believe..give not your daughters in marriage to idolaters till they believe.."
However in "most famous" hadith narrated By Abu Huraira : The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers "
Secondly, i did talked to my gf also on this matter seriuosly, and praise to Allah, she understands and we made a promise that we would accept through our relationship together, whether we will made or not, inshaallah(by God's will and prayers). Probable we both in our mid 20s so we mare matured in our decisions.Give n take and problems do arise whether in same religion or culture or differently of coz. I cant force you on answers, but the best way is to discuss with ur bf/fiance FIRST, marrying is a HUGE and BIG responsibility you know.. when both of your are from different beliefs.
My words are just my opinion, i apologize if i'm hurting your feelings.You should consult at Darul Arqam or MUIS for clarification, PLEASE dont go to third or unknown party sources for help please...it's for your own good, esp serious stuff. Hope my opinion helps ai, good luck to both of you.. :) and stay strong...
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13/09/2007 2:06:42 AMIts gd if u can get her to embrace islam..Darul arqam gives a gd introduction Of Islam..My hubby was also a catholic..he converted b4 marriage..
Altenatively,u can opt for civil marriage..
Its legal in terms of legal law..but it is not when comes to Islamic Law.
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1/10/2007 10:02:34 AMMarriage is a sacred thing. It is between 2 people who understand what they are about to do. They need to think about the future as well before they jump into it. If you want to follow the Muslim guidelines, then get her to convert first. She may not adopt everything from day one but guide her in her journey. is she is willing alhamdulilah. If not, you will have to make a tough call. I remember my first girl friend could not convert because of her parents who threatened to commit suicide and these do happen. We accept that there is a hikma in all these things happening earlier than later. I wish you well and do pray to Allah for guidance. We have to answer for everything we do in this world and hopefully Allah will have mercy on us.
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7/10/2007 5:51:38 AMAs long as she is a woman of the Book meaning Christian or Jew) of any sect then you can marry. That's the easy part, the tough part can be the parents and working out your differences. Some would say that you can only marry her if she agrees to convert in the future, this is completely false and it is a poor pretext in starting a marriage, if she sees something in you, then she will see something in Islam. We show Islam in our actions and it may come to pass that she will convert for the sake of God. But, you should come to terms with the fact that she may never convert and this WILL create issues when God willing you have children, raising children is hard to say the very least and raising them under a duel religion household will be all that much harder. You have to think about what will come in the future, not just how you feel about each other now. There should be a time before you get married and talk about what you will do with and for each other. A husband and wife need to work as a team to make things work in a marriage and your religion can't be ignored, don't be blinded by your love or you could be hit with some really nasty fights in the future. Like whose religion will the children follow, what holidaies will you celibrate in the home, so on and so forth.
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8/10/2007 1:31:40 PM@Dawud72-
Just to let you know that the Shariah in Singapore do not allow marriage between a non-muslim. If you are goin for a shariah court, (the muslim marriage) the gal has to take up courses and convert to a Muslim first. Even if it's the 'people of the book'.
You don;t have to do that if you marrying in the civil court.
In most cases the mother always end up raising the kids in her culture and lifestyle. I've notice time and time again how the child will be raise as a non-muslims if the mother is a non-muslim vs if the father is non-muslim.
So that is the possibility someone might face if they are marrying a gal who is non-muslim. If the guy is not religiously concern, then i guess it shouldn't matter.
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I'm a male Muslim. If I want to marry a non-Muslim, how?
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rookie
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