Is it a right & wise decision to invite family for simple wedding function?
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16/11/2007 1:47:51 PMThe general idea in having any ceremony or visiting like for Hari Raya is to promote closeness between family. Maintaining relationship is very important in Islamic point of view. Anywyas, doesn't always have to be that reason.
As for the wedding ceremony..parent have their own ideas and plan of course. There's nothing wrong with having a small and simple ceremony. I think that is more intimate. Rather than the busy wedding in the voide deck where 1000-2000 people hassle together.
the Prophet once said the, “Offer a feast by sacrificing at least one sheep.†(Reported by al-Bukhari and others)
“The worst of feasts is a marriage feast to which the rich are invited and the poor have been left out.†(Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim)
source :http://www.islamonline.net/ser...
There's no right or wrong here, but there are preferred guidelines to follow. Do not waste. Think about the poor children and families in war and without food and shelter. each dollar that you spend on your wedding could save one of these children and family. You don;t need to go far to find people in unfortunate circumstances. Some of our members here are going through some difficult time. :S
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16/11/2007 10:54:29 PMHi imin84,
It's good to know you are concerned with the question of wedding ceremony. I remember just months ago, when my chinese colleague whining with me that she n her husband are both pleading with her two families for a simple wedding :) (They had their ROM already and now.... :) ).
Just note that this problems happens to all people from different background. Do not blame your parents or in-laws for this issue. They, unlike us, were raised from a different upbringing and time, where family spirit and cohesiveness is the pride of the community, (unlike our materialistic and 'competitive' society today :( ). They do not want to see themselves as selfish and inconsiderate people as not invite or celebrate such a 'grand occasion' in their lives, esp a wedding celebration. I hope I can clear the thoughts of the many parents on their view and need of a big wedding. In one way, they had a point and not wrong in such argument.
To solve, you may discuss with your parents and in-laws on the reality on the BBP equation today.
Big wedding = Big spending=Poor marriage planning (equation)
Discuss with them in slow, in most likeable,but with most proper reasoning. Often you need to come to terms with your parents or in-laws to build your communication and trusts. Communication is the key, keeping contact with them helps to reach or close the gap of misunderstanding between you and family/inlaws. Difficulty and conflict may arise, but be firm in your decision, backed with logical reasoning so not to get 'pounded with 'lectures' by them. They are more 'senior' than you, be so up for the challenge ahead k haha.. :)
Good luck and bless you. Salaam...
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21/01/2008 4:37:44 AMdear imin84,
my answer: strike a balance between the two.
dun forget u r a daughter, a daughter-in-law to be, a wife to be...loads of things to consider before u make a decision.
if i were u, i'll do a simple but beautiful wedding reception. b4 that my hubby to be have to convey plans that we do not wanna spend too much on the reception as we have plans to use the money for something else more important. forgive the old folks as they just wanna a grand wedding.
email me at hilwa.lim@adroit-int.com ...i might be able to help you with the preparations...
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Not necessarily we need to hold a wedding ceremony to promote closeness between two sides of family, am I right to say this? But you do have a point though.
Anyway, it seems to me that nowadays people would like to have it in the simplest way where pssible. But parents at times are in the way of their plans where they want/wish to hold a wedding ceremony. If we do not hold a ceremony, but a simple buffet like you said, or maybe a "kenduri", is it a right & wise decision? We can still invitie families for the function right?
125 pts
rookie
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