love before marriage

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almajnun
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rookie
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28/03/2008 1:53:56 PM

Salam,

Islam is a religion of love, and we are encouraged to express our love to each other with sincerity.

One hadith states, from Anas r.a.:

A man was with the Prophet when another man passed by the both of them. The man with the Prophet said, "Oh Messenger of Allah, I love this man (for the sake of Allah). The Prophet asked him, "Have you informed him?" The man replied, "No." The Prophet then said, "Tell him (that you love him)."

The man then went up to the other man, and said "I love you for the sake of Allah" and the other man replied "May Allah, for Whose sake you love me, love you."

Narrated by Abu Dawud.

From this hadith, perhaps it is clear that the sort of love that is worth proclaiming to others, is a love that is sincere and for the sake of Allah.

For the better part of it, we generally say that we love someone because we are driven by emotional instincts, which may or may not be something which can be viewed as coming from a "for the sake of Allah" perspective.

I believe that it is best to keep those words to yourself, until the marriage is completed, to make the value of the words even sweeter. For typical boy-girl relationships, sometimes the proclamation of love is but the instigation of the nafsu, and we need to try to control it as best as we can.

It is also a part of adab to refrain from words which can arouse feelings in the other person, which may not be desirable in Islam.

That being said, it is not that we cannot love others. I would like to share a nice prayer that hopes to purify the quality of love that we have for other people.

"Oh Allah, if I fall in love, let me fall in love with someone who commits his love entirely to You, so that my will to love You also increases. Guide and limit my love to him so that it does not go beyond my love for You.

Oh Allah, if I fall in love, allow me to touch the heart of someone whose heart is constantly thinking of You, so that I do not fall into the traps of an unfaithful love.

Oh Allah, if I fall in love, guide my heart so that I do not turn away from You.

Oh Allah, if I long for him, limit my longing so that I do not forget to desire Your Paradise.

Oh Allah, if You permit this love that I have for one who loves you, then do not cause me to transgress my own limits, until i forget that the True Love and Eternal Longing only belongs to You."