Do u marry someone you are in love with or marry someone who loves u so much? Cos in theory people prefer to be in love but in reality, most marry someone whom they are not in love with but who loves them so much. So what do u think? Which is better in the long run?
125 points 0votes 24/03/2008 12:06:19 PM by putriberendam rookie Post ReplySalam,
It is of course best to have a relationship which is based on reciprocity - both sides loving each other deeply.
The following paragraphs are but my opinion.
I think that the older generation got along pretty well marrying people whom they did not know - i.e. they were matchmade. Modern couples are unlikely to tolerate this kind of arrangement because they think that knowing the character of their partners before the marriage contributes to the final decision and outcome of the marriage. However, we find that this is not necessarily true - people can change after the marriage. And sometimes people change for the worse.
Older couples however learnt to love each other, despite the faults that they find with each other. And it is this learning to love that is important in a relationship after marriage. One should not merely have loved before the marriage, but the love should remain throughout the relationship - for better or worse, till death do you part!
So in answering your question, which situation gives a better guarantee of love existing throughout the relationship? I believe that marrying someone who truly loves you, and someone whom you can slowly learn to appreciate and love back, is better than merely marrying someone whom you love, but does not love you back.
Again, love needs to exist to sustain the relationship.
Wassalam.
Hmm. Fair question. Sometimes I wonder how my grandparents in the past could live together with love and concern, even though they only met and married through match making from their families.
Takes a great deal of trust and faith from their side I guess, and couples nowadays like our generation are complaining about "compatibility" and "commitment " issues <sigh>...
Hi,
growing up, mum always said "girl, marry someone who loves you more than you love him".
it kind of stuck, causing depression that i'd never really find someone who i'd love and loves me back.
since i've met FB, i cannot be happier because it proves mum's theory wrong. =)
love cannot be measured. as long as 2 love each other, i'm sure things will work out.
good luck.
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