Q. Wedding Gift Exchange

Hmm

I will help you to give the answer, but firstly are you a malay, or indonesian abstract or other race?

Hantaran is something of a gift to the other side of the party/family during engagement (bertunang in malay) and marriage solemnization (nikah in malay). Of the two, the latter if the compulsory in religion(Islam) while the former is Malay cultural practise.

The common gifts exchanged between families during either ceremony are as follows;

1) Food like cakes, fruits, cookies, or other products
2) Clothes and footwears; examples shirts or dresses, leather shoes, or anything but they are usually formal
3) Accesories like daily stuff e.g. shavers , cosmetics etc..
4) Religious gifts like Holy Book (so far so rare )
5) Money or jewellery ( not to confuse with wedding ring)

While these gifts seems normal, it's the design or the decoration of the gifts that matters during the ceremony. Try to search the net for services offered for decoration of hantaran in malay bridal shops. I'm not married yet :) but I'll ask around for any when time permits.

For your interest, the traditional malay practise for marriage/engagement is in the website below:

Regarding engagement :http://www.malaysia-vacation-h...

Regarding marriage http://www.malaysia-vacation-h...:

There is no such thing as HANTARAN in Islam. Islam is a complete guide to humanity. Whether you are Malay or Chinese you have to follow Islam completely.

Was this practised By Prophet(s)?

Or by the Sahabas? Or by the great Imams? Or by any learned pious Muslims?

This culture is the culture of Malays before their conversion to Islam. Once the Malays converted to Islam, they did not let go of many cultural practice including this HANTARAN. SOme of thier cultural practice were not against Islamic principles unlike HANTARAN.
The Ulama have termed this pracriceRishwah in Arabic, which i bribe, which has been cursed act in Islam.

The Malay world despite it population being Muslim, doesn't want to practice Islam in its totality.

Dear Ustads & Ustazah, who are reading this, it yr duty teach the ummah the Deen, but how come you people are justifying this practicse?

In the Hindu community, it is the practice of getting money from the bride' side. If a Muslim follow this, is this not haram, than wat about Hantaran?

Only Mahr is allowed in Islam. Mahr= Maskawin

Live as Muslims, not as Malays!

Hi i'm not a Malay but the practice of Hantaran is part of some of our culture.

You are lucky tht you are marrying a Malay. If it's an Arab girl, their 'hantaran' is even worst off. forget 10K, it a house you get to buy them plus other thing. :S

The prophet may not have practice Hantaran (wedding expences) because that is not the word used in the practice of the Arabs. Although Islam specifically said the the wedding expenses should be the groom's responsibility.

Islam as a way of life do not condone any customary practice of different culture and Law of the Land. For example in some tribe in Saudi, the Women never shows her face to her husband through out her life in their marriage, and that is still being practice now and is acceptable in Shariah because it's not Shirk or against the fundamental of Islam. And also both parties knows that that what they signed up for.

Islam is fitting of all cultures and the Shariah also protects the 'Law of the Land" as long as it's not against Islam. I don't see anything wrong with the groom paying for wedding expenses (Hantaran), after all in Islam the groom is the one who has to pay for the wedding expenses.

It's just that nowadays people are getting too overboard with the cost of the 'Hantaran'. The girl side tries to help out as well. As long as the wedding expenses is done moderately and do not cause hardship on either side, i think it's fine. Theres nothing haram about it or else MUIS and Singapore Shariah would have baned it.

You can research more about wedding expenses in Islam.