Problem with Mother in law

I'm having problem with my mother in law. i cant communicate with her and she is some1 who is not easy to get along with or please. the longer i stay under 1 root with her the more i start to lost respect for her. I'm so stress. And bcoz of all this my relationship with my husband is affected. I'm so scare dat i might made wrong move especially when i'm stress or angry. Who can i turn to? i really need someone to talk to.

worth
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rookie
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Plus Minus
28/11/2007 8:20:12 AM
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rookie
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Plus Minus
28/11/2007 4:11:02 PM

Sorry,to hear that but i believe that you have to adapt it. But i hope not because of your in law you throw your temper to your husband just talk to him whats your problem you that you having it now. pity him he got no choice 1 is beloved wife and another his own mom. the best think just live happily with your hubby and children,when things good there always bad things come.so i hope you are strong to face it.take care.
_____________________________________
Edited by: constant_searching
Date: 29/11/2007 9.39pm
Reason: Spelling


fresh
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Plus Minus
30/11/2007 7:31:09 AM

Can you adopt the thinking that what you are going through could be part of your spiritual cleansing. Allah says that verily with every difficulty there is a relief. What this means is that Allah is making you a better person with this agony. Think about your past & think about how you have treated your loved ones before. If you had issues with your loved ones, try to make up for it now. Then try to understand that you have now come between the son & his mom & sometimes this is just pure jealousy. The only solution is to pray & ask Allah for guidance. Allah is nearer to you then your own vein and He will help you when deemed fit. Patience is a virtue and may Allah have mercy on you and help you through this challenging times. Have faith in Him.


Accepted answer
rookie
0
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Plus Minus
30/11/2007 10:22:23 AM

Dear Sis Lynn,

First, I must say that I think this is quite a common problem faced by most married woman. Either living under the same roof or not living under the same roof.

However, these are just some of the challenges that we faced when we get married. Let's see how should i put it. Firstly, I know how it feels. I used to have that kind of feeling too. But alhamdulillah, I have managed to overcome it and now everyone is happy.

Sometimes, we have to discuss things with your husband. Everyone has their own perspective. Your mother in law has her own way of doing things and you yourself has your own way of doing things.

Sometimes, it is the little things we dont see that can cause such problems. And usually, it is communication problem. And sometimes, if really necessary, to cool things down, a break away is necessary.

Talk to your husband. Ask him what are his expectations of you towards his mother or ask him whether he knows of the expectations of his mother towards you (the daughter in law).

However, what i learnt is that if you learn to love your husband's mother as your own, your husband will love you more. He (your husband) can never choose between his wife (you) and his mother.

I just want to quote you for example, how would you feel if your mother in law's birthday is the same date as your mother's death date.

Doesn't that make the situation very weird for both side. But Allah s.w.t is always fair. The stronger you are, the more you will be tested but insya allah, with Allah's guidance, you wil be able to go through it.

Insya allah, I hope you will overcome this problem of yours.




rookie
0
votes
Plus Minus
2/12/2007 9:17:12 AM

Hi all

i really want to thks for all the advise. i really hope i can be that strong. but i know it not going to be easy for me.

Btw i did talk to my husband about the problem i'm facing with his mom. But he cant do much. Like u mention he cant choose between wife and mother. All he can say is be patience and he also know his mother attitute. so he expect me to more understand toward his mother and dont really bother about what she say thing to me.

And i guess i got on other choice but learn to adapt the situation.


rookie
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Plus Minus
18/06/2008 7:16:45 PM

HELLO. IN ALL YOUR POSTED ANSWERS AND RESPONSES, YOU REFERENCE TALKING TO YOUR HUSBAND. WELL, THAT IS WHAT ACTUALLY STARTED THE PROBLEM. VOICING MY FEELINGS TO HIM MADE HIM HATE ME AND WE HAVEN'T SPOKE FOR OVER TWO WEEKS. WELL, NOW MY MOTHER IN LAW BOTHERS ME MORE THAN EVER!!


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