Being intimate before marriage
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16/07/2007 3:58:46 PMIf they knew the consequences in the hereafter, that will scare them & prevent this from happening. It is the lack of adab.
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16/07/2007 7:54:57 PMTo Mehboob, I am very sure that the youths knows of the consequences about holding hands etc. It is just that they are constantly being influenced with the media and friends around them that they think it is OK to do these things.
Sometimes when I walk around in anywhere in public, I see youths even those wearing the tudung to be holding hands and I wonder, can't they wait until they get married? Then when I finally got into their shoes, there were so many challenges that I had to face as well.
Personally, I think that it all comes back to having the right group of friends. If you have friends that care and love you, they will then save you from these maksiat. They will tell you that it is wrong and it is against the religion.
Hence, having the right friends play an important role in my life.
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17/07/2007 2:10:35 PMAlhamdulilah, totally agree with you. Having the right company helps. I am a classic example. I grew up in a Christain environment and basically believed that it was cool to be a Christain only to find that my true calling was to Islam. The company I kept made the difference and I hope that fellow brothers and sisters will try to be inclusive when it comes to religion. Islam is for all not just one race.
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20/07/2007 5:19:16 PMModerator Comment
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23/07/2007 2:30:48 PMi'm sure many muslims knows the guidelines towards intimate relationship. (it's not just youth who does this by the way)
i suppose somewhere down the line..they think it's ok. After all it's just holding hands for example. but for many, after that it comes down to logical interpretation.
ie..will god really punish me because of the way a human being is created? we have needs. but we can't go on an anti-boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship for life. So what are we suppose to do? are we suppose to lock ourselves up at home? or look down on the floor when we walk. what if we don't have the money to get married, or if we're not old enough to get married?
So perhaps for some, it's the lesser of the evil. ? choose.
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28/07/2007 3:56:32 AMMedia has influenced us all.
Humans love the idea of falling in love.
Each young couple feel that they have discovered love.
I'm young. I know the feeling.
But the greatest love is between us and the creator.
And below that is love with our parents.
and then love with our spouse.
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6/08/2007 11:54:37 PMResponding to worth's original Q:
Generally Muslims in Singapore dont tink thats all ok, bt many of them do it anyway. Afterall we've to face the fact--not all holding hands or kissing lead to sex. But then of course for those who have the other 'light stuff' and even sex before marriage, that's a different matter altogether.
Believe it or not, i never held hands with my exboyfriend. (Partly because I ws stupidly trying to please God without realising that the closer you try to get close to Him, the more He'll test you and the more you'll be driven away from Him). Thankfully my ex ws respectful of me. But then we eventually broke up but NOT because of my refusal to hold hands with him.
I agree about many muslims being influenced by Western values. Interestingly, sometimes some reasons sound logical. For example, to some people sexual intimacy is important in marriage, & hence they need to know if they'll feel comfortable having sex with the person whom they're marrying, BUT how would they know that unless they sleep with the person first? So they end up sleeping with each other outside marriage. If they find that they dont like each other in bed, they can then decide NOT to marry each other. Some people find this is better than marrying first, then have sex, then regret, then divorce.
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7/08/2007 5:08:08 PM"Partly because I ws stupidly trying to please God without realising that the closer you try to get close to Him, the more He'll test you and the more you'll be driven away from Him" .
Dont think at all that to please God is a stupid thing to try. And for all the tests remember that there's always a reason and a lesson from it. Never let it drive you away from him , instead bring him closer to your heart. Also I applaud you for your stand against holding of hands with your ex. =D
"For example, to some people sexual intimacy is important in marriage, & hence they need to know if they'll feel comfortable having sex with the person whom they're marrying, BUT how would they know that unless they sleep with the person first? So they end up sleeping with each other outside marriage. If they find that they dont like each other in bed, they can then decide NOT to marry each other. Some people find this is better than marrying first, then have sex, then regret, then divorce."
I've heard of that view before! It does sound logical . Like you would want to try on the clothes before you buy it. But personally for me while I would like that very much , I wouldnt want to be the clothes that someone try on and then toss away if it doesnt fit either. Also, most often than not after you try on a certain peice of outfit you'd toss it aside and buy the same outfit of the same size on the clothes rack that seems untouched by anybody. No way am I going to buy a clothes that looks like its been tried with everybody.
voted for your reply by the way. =D insightful.
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7/08/2007 5:08:09 PM"Partly because I ws stupidly trying to please God without realising that the closer you try to get close to Him, the more He'll test you and the more you'll be driven away from Him" .
Dont think at all that to please God is a stupid thing to try. And for all the tests remember that there's always a reason and a lesson from it. Never let it drive you away from him , instead bring him closer to your heart. Also I applaud you for your stand against holding of hands with your ex. =D
"For example, to some people sexual intimacy is important in marriage, & hence they need to know if they'll feel comfortable having sex with the person whom they're marrying, BUT how would they know that unless they sleep with the person first? So they end up sleeping with each other outside marriage. If they find that they dont like each other in bed, they can then decide NOT to marry each other. Some people find this is better than marrying first, then have sex, then regret, then divorce."
I've heard of that view before! It does sound logical . Like you would want to try on the clothes before you buy it. But personally for me while I would like that very much , I wouldnt want to be the clothes that someone try on and then toss away if it doesnt fit either. Also, most often than not after you try on a certain peice of outfit you'd toss it aside and buy the same outfit of the same size on the clothes rack that seems untouched by anybody. No way am I going to buy a clothes that looks like its been tried with everybody.
voted for your reply by the way. =D insightful.
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8/08/2007 9:53:03 PMi supposed holding hands r fine, not to the extend of kissing, hugging.........etc.......... for me, holding hands have a great significate, is like telling the whole world tat hey! im proud to hold this gal's hand n she's mine...... this prove tat this guy is serious abu the gal.
however, i supposed also due to the religion influence, hold hands is not widely accepted by older muslims, so the best thing is seek permission (lol)
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2/11/2007 10:14:30 PMThis reply goes with reference to "sherrylinana" post.
Okay, lets get this straight. About holding hands. It is not a matter of getting permission from the parents or the elderly. It is haram by the laws of Allah. This is what concerns me, fearing parents than Allah s.w.t who created us.
"Undoubtedly having boyfriends and girlfriends is a major sin. Intercourse and touching are only permissible for husbands and wives, or for a man with his female slave (concubine). It is haraam for you to have a boyfriend, and it is haraam for both of you to shake hands or to be alone together, let alone hugging, kissing and touching. All of that comes under the heading of zina al-jawaarih (fornication of the limbs)."
Source: http://www.islamqa.com/index.p...
"One should think about how serious it is to touch a woman to whom one is not related, as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explained: “If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045). This refers to the punishment for touching, so how about worse deeds, such as embracing and kissing, and even worse kinds of illicit activity?"
Source: http://www.islam-qa.com/index....
Salaam.
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What do muslim singapore think that it OK to be intimate ie..kissing and holding hand and doing the 'light' stuff before they get married?
50 pts
rookie
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