i find out that my boyfriend of 5 years is seeing another girl. we are planning to get an engagement soon and he has said he'll marry me. he have said sorry and he also said he will not two time me anymore. i love my boyfriend but im worried he'll do this again. how can i trust him again? im close with my mum and she's the only person who knows. she told me to forgive and forget. can i be happy with this guy? im 22. he's 23.
can this relationship work out? i'm not living with my dad anymore so i don't have any father figer to ask for help...
I would do a few things:
* Find out the real reason why he was seeing another girl.
* Tell him what I would do if he did it again (hint: don't forgive him again), and don't just say it, but actually do it.
* Get it put down in writing as part of a marriage contract.
And lastly, the relationship can work out if both of you want it to. Trust is earned yes. But also you can choose to trust him after what he's done. Yes it is a risk, but so is everything else in life. There's no guarantee that someone else wont break your heart or do something worse. Its more important in life to take the risks and experience life and decide and follow through with the actions you will take when a risk doesnt work out.
As someone wise said: "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react."
Hmm.. tough..well the 'thing' about men...haha
Well even in the Quran, (I am a guy btw), women is the first thing that corveted the men most (Quran verse 03:14), well i accept it as a fact. The advertisers, the marketing, the sponsors, the car shows ..well you can see it without thinking twice dear..
The point is, not what he feels about you, but rather his responsibility and commitment so far. Your bf has failed you once, the worst from my respect, in terms of commitment and in responsibility. Though you have the respect to forgive him, you cannot imagine him flirting out with another woman when both of you are married :(
So..., it's probably time to talk to your bf about this issue. The fact that men seeing another women means he's missing something that you can't give to him in relationship, a serious long term problem actually. A loop-hole to your relationship. cause be 'contagious' if not resolved. Your relationship may still have a happy ending of course, if you take this part of problem seriously and commited together.
AND most importantly, my advise to you, let him know u reali mean business bout this problem k? Well...coz men has this complacency issue... :)
Be mature and positive when facing the problem, as a couple. Do not see this a letdown in relationship or blaming session between both you two. Yet don't see seperation as a no-no, NO one owes anyone a living or life, except the will of God. Think of yourself and your future k?
I pray for you in your life success so stay sweet k?. Bless you :)
i dont want to be a downer here, but really,....don't you think it's a bit of a no-brainer??
i mean, there's a reason why he chose to cheat on you.
in all honesty, there's no point continuing a r/ship with someone who would do that to you.
its not about forgiveness. it's about he taking the conscious decision to cheat on you.
it's not like he tripped over and landed on the girl.
he thought about, and decide to go on and do it.
like duh.
i know i sound patronising, but honey!
LOSE THE GUY!
*ebony moves her head in a dramatic way*
and really, both you two who replied should be advising of the same thing.
i'm sorry, but S**** like that should not be tolerated.
and no it hasn't happened to me, if that's the typical conclusion as to why you'd think i'm so harsh in this.
geez that really peeves me off. probably coz i'm half asleep and i'm tired. and hence irritable.
but that's a different thread.
Well EbonyTigress had a strong point... :)
But gal..do think of your choices well, there may be a time where a limit can be reached, esp for him. But there also times where both you have to come face to face and discuss/solve issue pertaining your relationship, reali...If you still had that little love for him left, give a chance to change the things you both have close the void of relationship..You know him better than us anyway, so you know the best decision for such choices, we can only give our advise :)
But try not to play in yourself too much emotions in the problem okay ? In this problem, you must try to pull yourself together. Guys can be 'pain', well my gf says tt :)....
Assalamualekum
I think you should ignore to your boyfriend for some time...when ever he come in front of you so you should do behave with him that you don't know to him.....
you have to show that you are not interested in him now.....so i think if you will do it for one week so you can see a better result.........
ali786
I think he will not able for you because he don't believe in love if he believe so he went not go with other girl or have another relationship.....
who person doing fraud with you before marriage i think he will not manage continue relation with you after marry in future.......
I giving you one idea for check you boy friend love for you..................you should Quran in front of your boy friend for promise love & marriage in future if he will accept it & promise with happy so he do true love with you, if not so he is doing time pass with you...........
Ali786
forget him!
after the first, there will be the second and so on and so fort.
Hello Dear
I think you should avoid him when he is doing with you....i think but sure you has done physically relation with him...that's why he is doing avoid you....
if you not done physical relation with him so may he will interested in you for marry but now everything has done in both you....
so now only one way is that you should obey the order of your parents & him leave on Allah because Allah everything knows & give reply soon.......
Because one trust has broken you,your parents so now other trust not broke of your parents.......
I think....
shanavver_ali@yahoo.com
whatever happened between you and him before.
forget him!
after the first, there will be the second and so on and so fort.
he does NOT deserve your love!
Girl think again before you make any decision getting engage and married to him.....4GET ABOUT HIM.....he is not worth it for you......If i were in your shoe,i'll aks him to fly a kite......getting hurt now or getting hurt after you become his wife.......If he really LOVE & CARE for you , he will not betray you.... think girl before it to late......once you become his wife there's no turning back.....
0votes 2/12/2007 10:09:51 PM by ladytiara rookieAssalamualekum
I think you should tell to your boyfriend for oath of Quran that he will marry with you...if he will take oath of Quran happiness so he will marry with you otherwise you should forget him because he is playing with you .......
if he take oath so good & your future will be good otherwise you should agree with your father & mother.....
No one is an angel. Everyone makes mistakes especailly at this tender age. Do your night prayers and ask Allah for guidance. He is the only one who can guide you & may he have mercy on both of you. Ameen.
0votes 5/01/2008 8:22:46 PM
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