commited suicide before reverting to Islam

im a muslim girl, who fell in love with a inidan boy around a year ago. we knew our realtionship wouldnt go far as we are both of different religions and his family are hindu devotees. he is an orphan who grows up in his uncle's house who married a chinese. everytime i step inside his house, it feels so uncomfortable, as they have this altar like thing which has so many of their gods, pictures and prayers. both of hindu and buddha. although i love him, i've never asked him about converting but once in a while i do tell him about Islam. what we do, why we do it, who is god and stuff like that. then one day, he came to me and told me he wanted to convert to Islam. he told me that it didnt matter if his family members are Hindu devotees, its his choice. he told me he didnt know why he goes to temple. he does it for the sake of it. he told me he didnt like it anyway. he really wanted to convert. he was ready. i then started to do my research. to help him. he has a lot of tattoos on his body and he wanted to remove it but he didnt have the means to do so as it was expensive. i tried to find out if he could still convert despite the tattoos as it will take some time for him to save up. we already made an appointment at the Associate of Muslims converts. around a week before our appointment, he committed suicide. his family was angry with me. they blamed me for it. they kept saying that i caused his death. he was closer to me than he was to them but i cant blame them for blaming me. i kept quiet. deep down inside, i was hurting. i too blame myself for it. i didnt knw why he did it why i really wished i had helped him to convert way earlier. its exactly a year since his death but ive been disturbed since then. i do accept that its fate that he has to go one day and that it was his choice to commit suicide. but for a year, i have been disturbed. i kept seeing things, imagining things, seeing him..his dead body in fact. him hanging himself..i kept eharing voices. asking me to do the same thing. i was scared. someone brought me to see a medium and he said that the guy's family sent 'soemthing' to disturb me mentally so that i will do the same. he said it was like mandram. i dunno if i should believe it. i have 2 questions. firstly, is it possible? could it be that they sent something to disturb or haunt me. my 2nd question, was it really his choice to end his life? he was so eager to convert but suddenly with no reason at all, he committed suicide in his room. could it be the house? they had my pictures, and strands of my hair as my bf like to keep thns that remind me of him. i never got it back. so is it possible then? i really need help and answers.

worth
500 pts

rookie
0
votes
24/11/2007 7:10:10 PM