Q. Civil Marriage

Below is an excerpt from islamonline;

'As far as the interfaith marriages are concerned, Islam does not encourage them. The general rule of Islam is that Muslims should marry Muslims. A Muslim male or female should not marry a non-Muslim male or female. Allah Almighty says: “ Wed not idolatresses till they believe; for lo! a believing bondwoman is better than an idolatress though she please you; and give not your daughters in marriage to idolaters till they believe, for lo! a believing slave is better than an idolater though he please you. These invite unto the Fire, and Allah inviteth unto the Garden, and unto forgiveness by His grace, and expoundeth thus His revelations to mankind that haply they may remember.” (Al-Baqarah: 221)

The only exception is given to Muslim men who are allowed to marry the girls from among the People of the Book. Allah Almighty says: “This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and live with them in honor, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter.” (Al-Ma’dah: 5) '
For full text refer to ;
http://www.islamonline.net/ser...

There are differing opinions regarding the 2nd part of the fatwa, where some scholars rules it as haram.

so Rocky, it is best that you put your plan on hold, study all the consequences and think about your future as a Muslim.

Regarding your question on where to register, it obviously cannot be registered at the Syariah Court. You can only have a civil marriage.

well said z,

I know many people who have married people of the book ( like christian, jews, catholics..) and non- muslims ( hindus, etc..) at the end of the day..their generation is lost.

Women are very important in our society. they are the educators and teachers of our society and world. ( i'll like to see them as the pillar of islam) If our women isn;t knowledgable about the worldly things, the generation will still be ok. But if she isn;t educated and strong in being a Muslim, we have a high chance of loosing our whole generation and the one that follows.

The Quran mentioned clearly about marying the unbelieving women.

(Quran 2:221):"Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise."

hadith quote:

"The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman. " (Muslim)

The first thing we should look for when marrying is how committed the person is to Islam. Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi was sallam) said, "A woman is normally sought as a wife for her wealth, beauty, nobility, or religiousness (adherence to Islam), but choose a religious woman and you will prosper. " (Muslim)

Also Rocky, think abt your hereafter. You will be judge for accordingly in front of our creator Allah swt. Are you prepared to deal with that know that he has forbid us from doing so?

Members on this site can only try to advise you on your choices. there are consiquesces in this world and the hereafter with the choice that we make. Allah have tested your Imaan. I hope you will choose with your Imaan and not your heart desires.

"Only when a person is willing to submit to the Commandments of the Higher Authority from Above, meaning to obey Allah on His terms as much as possible does he/she become a " MUSLIM."

Allah Says in Quran, all of creation is in submission to Him (MUSLIM)."

oh yea..you have to do a register at ROM not ROMM as this marriage isn't valid in the eyes of Allah.

Wallah hu alam.

salem brothers!

Well said. Basically to put it bluntly, that civil marriages are NOT VALID in Islam. It is considered fornication even u have a certificate from ROM.

Both u and ur wife will be committing zina. (having sex illegally)

LET NOT WOMEN AND CHILDREN DISTRACT U FROM YOUR IBADAH. :)

Salaam,

Well, ahxuan is rite. This is not the first time. I have a bad feeling this is not the last.

I am not against any two persons in love. But as the Quran has written, if we love our fathers, children, wives, our riches, our good life and position, more than Allah. the punishment will be on us (Quran sura At-tawbah 9:24) in the earth or/and in the hereafter. Look at the current world crisis we are facing today, and see how much we are 'paying' for this 'sickness', Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

Another important thing is, what religion will your children be? If you think of letting your children choose their religion when they grow up one day, I doubt they will choose either. Simply beacuse If their parents have 2 different beliefs or contradicting concepts of God, what reason would they think of knowing what is right? Just like many of my friends who grew up in this situation, many become free-thinkers, atheist, agnostics or non-practising believers.

yah yah fariz is right! What if on the day of judgement day, u go to hell and set urself on fire cos u commited zina (top major sins ) in islam.

Very painful u know! ouch ouch!

Asker's comment:

Hi guyz, thanks for the reply..but i really do not want to split out with her... coz i do not want to lose her as both of us in love together... I thought that god will accept whoever believe in their own faith and religious and to accept each other.. god will forgive us no matter what..


But i do not want to wasted my first love and the beauty from that woman.. It true muslim always discriminate by other religion. and futhermore sikh people dont like muslim as the trend of shotgun married and divorces.. But we trying to make the difference in our culture and history..

So i really need someone who undergone civil marriage cae to tell me what journey they have, are they happy..

Yes it true that i seen chines and muslim and indian and muslim but sikh and muslim is really rare... i hope we can create one history here.. haix

Rocky Brother,

I'm not sure if anyone here have gone through civil marriage.

I appeal to you to not commit this most hated of sins. It is FALSE that god will forgive us no matter what. We all HAVE to go through punishment for our sins. To believe this or to preach this is falsehood.

I speak to you as one who has experienced what you are. I had a lot of Sikh friends. We used to get along well. The depth of thought and spirituality they have and are taught is fascinating. Endless conversations into the night you can go on and on. It is mesmerising. Both the guys and the girls. But you must realise, their religion was just formed 'yesterday' as compared to Islam. It was put together from bits and pieces from other religions.

I knew a Punjabi girl and before I knew better, we got close and considered having a relationship with her, but as we spoke more I realised that I was entranced. Mesmerised. It took me going with her to a Gurudwara to snap out of it and ask for forgiveness from Allah.

Sikh girls, esp. in some parts of the world are known to convert to Islam and marry Muslims, and to counter this the Sikh community has fabricated and strategised against Muslims.

Have you thought of the inconsistencies in Sikhism and the conflict in beliefs?

eg:
* they are not supposed to eat Halal meat?
* they won't cut their hair anywhere on their bodies as they believe they must respect how they were created by the almighty, but yet they will cut their nails.
there are many many more...

Rocky, you may want to create History, but whatever you're doing is creating your future.

On a different note, If this girl must be with you, why can't she convert? If she believes in Islam then why must her parents fear stop her from converting? Are her parents ok with her marrying a muslim? If there is going to be differences with her marrying you, then might as well do it right? Convert and have a halal relationship? What about your family?

You have come her asking for how inter faith marriages are, whether they are happy and you have heard of personal experiences and people imploring you to not commit this sin. Why don't you speak with your closest friends, or elders in the family? Seek their advice.

A real friend or someone in the family who cares about your future would not let you do this without thinking the consequences for you and your family through.

If I were your friend Rocky, I would literally Kick you to make you snap out of it.

I leave you with these words:

“Verily, those who disbelieve (in the religion of Islam, the Qur’aan and Prophet Muhammad) from among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) and Al-Mushrikoon will abide in the fire of Hell. They are the worst of creatures” [al-Bayyinah 98:6]

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, no one of this nation, Jew or Christian, hears of me then dies without having believed in that with which I was sent, but he will be one of the people of the Fire.” Narrated by Muslim, 153.

I'd like to correct your thinking about one thing though for the benefit of anybody who is thinking the same way that "Allah will forgive no matter what"

Please don't say such things if you have no solid evidence.

There are a few things that Allah will not forgive..(pls correct me if im wrong) i won;t go into that. But if Allah have warned us against these kind of marriage and it is considered Zina in the eyes of Allah. You are looking at many million, billion of years ..almost your whole eternity in the hell fire. ( this is comming from the Almighty) Allah is the almighty creator and he knows us better than anyone else. He is closer to us than no other. He gave us choices and gave warning. He made some things haram for us because it cause us harm and pleanty of things Halal.

So you can choose, 50 yrs of marriage to your first love or many million of years of torture in the hell fire. :)
If you are wanting someone who have gone through civil marraige, i'm not sure if this is the best place. Before you proceed to do this please read on how humans are being tauchered in the hellfire. It is extremely graphic. I will not want those things to happen to you or any of our brothers and sisters in Islam.

Seek guidance from the almighty Himself. Pray and pray for his guidance. Pray tht he will give you true happines and love in this life and the hereafter, that he will lift the veil in your eyes. pray that if this girl is for you, she will drop her stand on her religion. Pray that the two of you will discover the true beauty of Islam.

Islam is such a beautuful perfection Rocky. If you know, you wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. I pray that Allah will give you clarity. Walla hu alam.

salem brothers and sisters in islam

We already done our best in giving advice to our brother, Rocky. :) Allah creates us not just to worship him but also gave us the freedom of choice to choose between him and the temptations created by the Satan.

We can only hope the best for him.

I am a convert who went through what most converts gone through with their families especially chinese families.

It is not easy, but mashallah, I am thankful to ALLAH who stood by me all the while during these 6 years.

I cant express the feelings i have for Allah. sometimes I am weak but he always there to help me out. :) When I am strong, I give more for Allah in terms of zakat , prayers, zkhir, my daily chores and the continual to strive at work, etc.

I just hope that things will work out for u but i know it wouldnt.......more tests will be on the way to test your faith in HIM.


Dont take Allah's mercifulness for granted which most people do.

Asker's comment:

Hi... everyone.. thanks for your advice.. i really appreciate you has i have no friend to talk to either.. only by this i have chance to express my feeling.. but i still pray for allah to give me the correct pathway.

Amin . If you pray and continue to seek the correct path and keep your heart open, Allah will give you guidance.

i know this couple, the husband is a muslim while the wife is a hindu, their 3 children grew up embracing 2 different religions, they believe in ALLAH & saibaba. ASTAGHFIRULLAHHALAZIIM, i don't blame the children, they love both their parents and do not want to disappoint any of them, that's why to avoid favouritism, they became muslim & hindu....

Rocky, i know you love that girl, but do you love her more than ALLAH? Are you ready for all the headaches & consequences to come? It is not too late yet.... There's a lot of muslim girls out there.....

What guarantee is that she won't leave you after all the pressure? Please make your decisions wisely....

I have a cousin who love a sikh guy for 10 years but ended up marrying a muslim guy. She is strong....You are not.... Love Is Blind... But don't go totally blind....

Its NOT too late yet.........


You wrote this:
'Yes it true that i seen chines and muslim and indian and muslim but sikh and muslim is really rare... i hope we can create one history here.. haix'

I hope you r not with her just for the sake of making History... it sound childish....

(i am sorry if i hurt you in anyway...)

Salaam Rocky,

It is not easy for anyone to simply discuss about faith. Everyone takes their faith seriously and sensitively, even if they have doubts about certain doctrines and concept of God in life.

I hope you don't go introducing Islam to your loved one like "Ahmed Deedat" style. I could recommend that you can try to introduce common grounds in two faiths. Clearing misconceptions and misunderstandings about Islam and other religion is a good topic. It helps a lot in bridging trust and discussion the concept of beliefs.

One must understand that historically and culturally,when two cultures and/or religions collide, a person cannot expect to change everything in a single day. Prophet Muhammad p.b..h took 23 years to build the Muslim ummah, slowly changing their manners, mindset, confidence and cohesiveness of the Muslim society. Despite many unfateful events happen around the history of Islam, be in social devation, transgressing in religious innovation, facism, Muslim societies have tried to reconcile and re-shaped their religion to the needs of their civilization and culture even till today.

Hence, We should not think that "all is right with your world" and forget others who were in need and unfortunate like many people today. That IS the result of ignorance ad arrogance. Islam, like many other religions, purely emphasize piety and humility, so be just when discussion about marriage, relationship and religion with your loved one. You can't deal justly with everything, which is why God makes us all different and in need for each other, whether you are a man, woman, a friend, a parent, an employer, leader, colleague, or worker, in order to learn and meet each other.

Hi Rocky,

Don't be hurt with what others are saying.It's just because we car and we are trying our best to advise you.

I have a friend who is a punjabi lady.She and her Sikh husband decided to embrace Islam years ago.if you would like your girlfriend to talk to her,just call me through my email address.Be glad to help her understand more about Islam from her "own people."The couple are convert and living happily with their families of other religion.You just need to be strong and have the will to do it.

Wassallam.