Q. What is Love?

we all do feel love but the way we express it is simply learned and consequently i guess those cues are what people define as love, i suppose. the meanings, forms, expressions and expectations of love have changed, as the concept of love move from the past to the contemporary society. what people define as love is probably different from what we define it as now. however, i guess, the feelings we get from love is somewhat the same (???)

i guess society very much wants/expects/encourages us to find love or at least to be with somebody. it is a form of validation of what a normal human being should be. it is expected because it is part of the "natural" step in an adult's waking life. so yeah, i guess the rest of us who are not "lucky in love", will just be considered as the losers. to make matters worse, we have all these different money-making avenues of finding love which really makes us feel and constantly reminds us of how much of a loser the rest of us are! haha!

i'm thinking probably we are innately programmed to need it. hah. or maybe we have learned to need it as we see it as being a "natural" part of life. there was this guy, Alfred Adler, who was Freud's protégé until he started disagreeing with Freud. anyway he said human beings have specific tasks of life which include occupational tasks, societal tasks and love tasks (continuance of human race). these are all life goals we need to achieve and these are part and parcel of a functioning human being. the reason why we need to achieve such and such is to overcome inferiority and gain superiority within ourselves and with others. and so yeah, he was the great contributor of the term inferiority complex. this is probably why those who can't find love feel inferior as they have not achieved the "love task".

and so Adler said that....
love, as an emotion, like other emotions is cognitively based. people are not victims of emotions. they create emotions to assist them in the attainment of their goals. love is the conjunctive emotion we create when we want to move towards people.

so as much as people have fallen out of love numerous times and filed for divorces time and again, they still pick up the pieces and fall back in "love" again as it is a programmed and an unconscious goal (???)

so don't fret "losers", we are innately programmed to find love eventually. if not, just blame it on nature or your genes. easier still, blame it on your mum.

ammendment to be made above:

Alfred Adler wasn't Freud's protege. i was thinking of Carl Gustav Jung at that time and for a moment regarded them to be the same person.

Asker's comment:

sorry... but i'd be inclined to disagree with mr. adler...

that's probably because that if society does not get what this whole love thing is....

(and i mean really, being on the rebound doesnt mean that you get it)

then why is it that we like to tell ourselves that we 'feel' this emotion, when we're merely addicted to its effects?

isn't the the whole cliche that are modern day relationships??

the apparent 'addiction' to it....

i mean how is that 'love'... and yeh you're right when this industry wants to tell you you can find 'the right' thing....

yet it merely feeds this addiction.. and the subsequent feeling interpreted as 'love'

well excuse me.. but a lot of 'losers' in this society are in a sense better off single if they choose to see it in a different light

it's a total facade.


i don't disagree with the prospect of attaining it, nor would i question the apparent neccessity of i.,.

what i do question is the manner it is percieved in a supeifical society.

like who really cares whether you do or do not 'have someone'

is there really such a societal pressure that it is merely 'perception' that drives ppl to think their is something wrong with them being single???

and you and i both know of so many ppl that are only driven by 'perception'... that merely having someone constitutes the latest Louis Vuitton handbag.

"occupational tasks, societal tasks and love tasks (continuance of human race). these are all life goals we need to achieve and these are part and parcel of a functioning human being. the reason why we need to achieve such and such is to overcome inferiority and gain superiority within ourselves and with others"

my point exactly. the need to overcome inferiority, and gain superiority...

there's something fundamentally wrong wit h that idea... i know you'r e the in-house behavirourist mas... but why can't 'love' and other means of success in your life come about as a result of being comfortable in your own skin, as opposed to making other ppl comfortable...

if we're constantly driven by perception, then why bother??

no use blaming it on our parents. didnt we all subscribe to the whole "being a responsible, mature adult" ideology?

or is it that when we realise just how shit our personalitiies may be that we think it's a genetic flaw...

lol.. how convenient.

well.. enough ranting.

back to work. ...i must feel superior.

I just have a simple answer for the first question.
To me, love is the purest form of emotion there is. It is unconditional and beautiful. Love is what one feels between a husband and a wife, a daughter/son to her or his parents, love for pets, love for your friends and even your country.

Everyone needs love and to be in love...even if they think that they don't need it. Sure, not everyone will find the kind of love that they think they deserve but it's always worth it to look for it. Once you find it, never let it go.

Anyways, just in a good mood right now, and I am all excited right now because my cat is going to give birth soon... I had a chance to witness her first birth while she was on my lap. I feel blessed that she feels comfortable enough to do so. I like to think that she loves me...heheh :)

Her kittens from her last birth didn't make it but hopefully this time, she will give birth to cute little kittens. I would get a chance to see a mother's love for her babies :) I can't wait!!!!!

good question..something which i've been trying to figure out all my life. i've been wanting to post a reply to this question a while back as soon as i get some time to articulate my thoughts which i soon realise that i will never be able to :D.

anwyays...love is not emotion as many would believe. no one can fully explain what and how it is as scientist and researcher are tryin to solve this huge mistery. To put it simply ...we are programme to love. just like we are programme to eat, sleep..love is just another daily need as a human being. the ultamate idea is of reproduction, hence love is a need that humans will naturally crave for, even if they have not watch TV into brain wash their minds to pop culture.

Now, that 's just about 'love'. there are obviously other stages or types of love. http://www.visionsoflove.com/r...
Of course not all kinda love leads to reproduction.(i.e parental, siblings, towards other creature..etc) but i'm more focus on so call 'romantic love' or being 'in love'.

I believe without tv or the internet constantly bombarding us with finding for love, or MR/ MISS right..we will naturally seek it out. it's just how we are created. However i do agree with you with regards to this bombardment of misinformation on what love is, when we watch movies and stories about lust, sex and passion.

Do we need this industry in our society? i think we do. We are living in a time where meeting someone is not such an easy thing anymore. our lifestyles, social networking is more complex then we think and i believe we do need services and avenues where we can find someone. I'm referring to online match making site. Now whether or not people are using these websites ethically, its all another topic of discussion altogether.

We live in a society where by technology and media shape our perception. i partly blame the movies and media/internet on this missed information on Love, relationship and gender roles which is the cause of more divorce in society. I believe many who have been married (and not a boy friend- girl friend relationship) were rather shocked and horrified to find out that its not what they think it was. Rather it very different to what they have been watching either in a good way or the bad way. I have not watch a movie which clearly explain the notion of Love ..rather it objectifies love is such a shallow blatantly wrong superficial concept. (although i would recommend a movie i recently watch: 'The Namesake')

I also blame ourselves being part of this society consciously taking in wrong info about this concept and doing nothing about re educating ourselves about it. I've spoken to many people who have no clue on what love, marriage, passion, commitment, lust is..and yet going on with a marriage proposal.

about the perception of looses and choice of being single....again this are all social discourse. People's perception of anything don't come out of nowhere..there is a root where all of these ideas comes form. We have a long was to go in making the general public understand why and what is love.

i'll like everyone to watch this interesting video on the science of love.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/t...

ps: foonoosh...the cat must be something to have given birth on your lap. :)

Yes, indeed that was quite an experience. That an animal feels comfortable enough to trust me with her babies. I felt very previlleged indeed.

Love is somthing tat make u dun feel bored love is somthing tat can touch ur heart love is sacfieing for some one u love love is somthing tat u wat tat ppl to happy only love is something tat by all way u must achive love is also doing all thing even u love tat girl she scold u watever love is somthing noble love is somthing tat ur heart is forever connect to heart lf a play boy, love can touch anything love is anything love is not looking at the appearment love is look at how can a ppl can be love is somthing of inner beauty love make anything move lf u really love somthing example lf u did somthing wrong to ur belove by love u surly be true love is trust love is defeatable to all thing love can tounch anybody heart no matter who even the strongest power ppl love is anything when dating love can make u become blur and star at her love is trusting each and other love can really make u do watever wrong thing for the ppl ur belove love can even make u do out of the law thing love mean when u ned a ppl the ppl will come mean it love u love can u make u anything love even tat girl is imprison for 10year u surly wait for her love is a goal love like u r a police tat girl is a bad bad girl imprison for 10year and u will do anything for her love is preparing to take the buddle for ur belove love is a amazing thing love is nature feeling i dun believe there is no ppl wif out a love