As Salam
Hello
Its a bit awkward to ask about this. Nowadays it seems like a trend and some of it asking for a high amount of Mahr. For me, women are human beings, not objects to be purchased, traded, or owned. Yes, everybody willing to especially for a woman will ask for high Mahr. My wife to be is Muslim Singaporean and I am willing to know how much is the reasonable Mahr for a woman recently in Singapore? Again its a bit awkward to ask about this, but I just want to know the normal amount that happened recently.Thank You.
Wasalam
mine was a diamond ring.. Its a mahr for your wife so its good enough.. But the hantaran is something that you might wanna consider.. :)
0votes 17/01/2011 9:54:52 AM by Ridhwan fresh
thanks for replying.really appreciate it.so as you know, how much recently for the mahr? $SG 5k,8k,10k or etc?
hmmm... recently for mahar maybe you can give what you think is good for your wife.. Rasulullah said that the best is give the most cheapest.. Allahu 'alam.. :)
0votes 17/01/2011 4:33:08 PM by Ridhwan freshAssalamualiakum,
as far as i know it is customary for the wife to ask for a higher 'hantaran' and a lower mahr in Singapore. Perhaps the trend has change now.
@ Ridhwan,i don't recall reading a hadith which states that the best gift is the cheapest. Can you please give your references.:)
ROMM has set a minimum Mahr, which is $100 SGD last time i checked. maybe it's different now. as for the hantaran it's about the 10k generally on top of gifts, depends on how much the girl ask for. you should ask the wife to be abt this. usually the family would discusses the amount with your family when you ask for her hand in marriage. it can be higher or lower depending on the girl's social standing. There are some girls who comes form a rich family but ask for much lesser, so it really depends.
This money is not a price to pay for the girl. it's a gift to her and also for the wedding/ marriage expenses. After giving her this money and gifts, you don't have a claim to it, unless of cause she gives you some willingly. if you can afford more, you give more according to your financial status. If you are poor, then you give whatever it is you can afford. both sides have to discuss and agree, inshallah.
as we can see form the prophet's sunnah, he did give a large amount of mahr to his wife. In one occasion he told a poor man to give an iron ring as mahr, since he's poor. So it's not set in stone.
hope this helps.
Salam to all,
To answer to sultana's question regarding the
evidence -
The mahr is a right that is given to the woman, as enjoined by Islamic sharee’ah, as an expression of the man’s desire to marry her. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heartâ€
[al-Nisa’ 4:4]
This does not mean that the woman is a product to be sold, rather it is a symbol of honour and respect, and a sign that the husband is willing to shoulder his responsibilities and fulfil his duties.
Sharee’ah does not stipulate a certain limit for the mahr that should not be overstepped, but it does encourage reducing the mahr and keeping it simple.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.†Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3300.
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).†Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279.
And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to a man who wanted to get married: “Look (for something to give as a dowry), even if it is a ring of iron.†Agreed upon.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) set the highest example for his ummah in that regard, so that a clear understanding of the basic principles would be implanted in society, and a spirit of simplicity would spread among the people.
Abu Dawood (2125) and al-Nasaa’i (3375) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that ‘Ali said: “I married Faatimah (may Allaah be pleased with her) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, let me go ahead with the marriage.’ He said: ‘Give her something.’ I said: ‘I do not have anything.’ He said: ‘Where is your Hutami shield?’ I said, ‘I have it with me.’ He said, ‘Give it to her.’†Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 3160.
This was the mahr of Faatimah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), the leader of the women of Paradise.
This reinforces the fact that in Islam, the mahr is not something that is sought for its own sake.
Ibn Maajah (1887) narrated that ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: “Do not go to extremes with regard to the dowries of women, for if that were a sign of honour and dignity in this world or a sign of piety before Allaah, then Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have done that before you. But he did not give any of his wives, and none of his daughters were given, more than twelve uqiyah. A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her and says, ‘You cost me everything I own, and caused me a great deal of hardship’.†Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah, 1532.
“Do not go to extremes†means do not exaggerate in increasing the dowry. “A man may increase the dowry until he feels resentment against her†means, until he begins to hate her when he is still paying off the debts incurred because of this mahr because it is too hard for him, or whenever he thinks about the matter.
From Haashiyat al-Sindi ‘ala Ibn Maajah.
Twelve uqiyah is equivalent to 480 dirhams, i.e., approximately 135 silver riyals (134.4). This was the mahr of the daughters and wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).
Shaykh al-Islam [Ibn Taymiyah] said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa, 32/194:
Whoever thinks of increasing his daughter’s mahr and asking for more than the daughters of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) were given – when they were the best women in this world in all aspects – is an ignorant fool. The same applies to asking for more than the Mothers of the Believers were given. This applies even if one is well off and can afford it. With regard to one who is poor, he should not give a mahr greater than he can afford to pay without any hardship.
He also said in al-Fataawa al-Kubra:
The words of Imam Ahmad according to the report of Hanbal imply that it is mustahabb for the dowry to be four hundred dirhams. This is the correct view in cases where the man can afford it. It is mustahabb to pay this amount and no more.
In Zaad al-Ma’aad (5/178), Ibn al-Qayyim quoted some of the ahaadeeth that indicate that the mahr should be reduced and that there is no minimum amount. Then he said:
These ahaadeeth indicate that there is no minimum amount for the mahr… and that exaggerating concerning the mahr is makrooh, and that it reduces its barakah (blessing). End quote.
Hence it is clear that what people do nowadays, increasing the mahr and exaggerating concerning it, is something that goes against the sharee’ah.
The wisdom behind reducing the mahr and not increasing it is quote clear:
This makes it easier for people to get married, so that they will not be diverted from it, which will result in all kinds of moral and social corruption.
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