Gift Exchange (Hantaran)
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15/11/2007 3:10:58 PMI think it really depends on you. If you want more mahr or more of the Gift exchange ( a.k.a hantaran in malay) The gift exchange is just a culture thing that malays practice. Other cultures have something similar as well.
For my wedding, i got more Hantaran ( wedding expences ) instead of the Mahr .
We didn't have any gifts exchange in mine. My parents wasn;t too happy, coz people will stir a gossip about that.
Although between ourself i bought my husband a new suit and my parents bought him an awsome shoe so tht he can use to work. He got me a necklace which we indians normally wear traditionally, bought by the husband when we are married. Just a tradition i wanna keep as a Singaporean Indian. And he got me a new camera. My in-laws however gave me many gifts. It's in their culture to buy all kinda gift for the daughter-in-law. But these gift were not publicize in our wedding. it was given in a private setting.
I got cash for my Hantaran to cover the wedding expenses. I made sure it was resonable and tht he can afford it. Plus i didn't put a crazy price like it is these days. I also made sure that my wedding doesn;t cost above 20K. lol. I had some balance after the wedding. We thought of using the cash for our Honeymoon. Instead we faces some problems and had to resort to a 3 days trip in Melbourne (since i stay there) and invested the rest of the money.
As for the Mahr..i think i got a substantial amount since we calculate the amount for 3month worth of expenses for me to live on comfortably. You don't have to calculate it that way of course. But the Mahr is the gift to the girl and it's more significant as compared to the Hantaran in case something happends to you, like your husband leaving you etc.
In singapore the minimum amount of mahr is SGD$100.
Mahr is mandatory in the Islamic law. That is why the minimum is set low in Singapore, to encourage more people to get married. Just like the prophet recommended.
In singapore the husband has to 'pay' the mahr and hantaran (if you opt for that) during your Nikah ceremony. This should be witness by t he witnesses. There is no such thing as paying the Mahr later or half like what other culture practice in different countries.
you can check out Registry of Muslim marriages(ROMM):
http://app.romm.gov.sg/interne...
What is important is for your marriage to start on the right foot and blessed by Allah swt. Invest your time and efforts in creating a beautiful relationship. It will benefit your family, your future children, your relatives, your professional life and the society.
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16/11/2007 11:54:04 PMHi imin84,
I always feel that the wedding dowry is always more important. It's the value of women you love you know,hehe....
Hantaran/Gift exchange is actually cultural , not even Islamic by face value, and not even obligation by fact. But it's up to individual of course, in my opinion, as culture and religion always have a brush in many ways (I do not understand that part sometimes..Hope it clears the gift exchange part, its not obligatory.
For my reason, I always believe that in slam, logical reasoning ( means self obervation or refelction) comes above culture. More often though, culture tends to lead to bid'ah(unlawfully) and/or pagan practices. One who looks in Arab's history in pre-Islamic will know why. Follow Prophet Muhammad pbuh's example to reflect/discuss difficult issues; first Quran (means getting some knowledge), second his words or teachings (by reading and reflecting to hadith or trusted sources), and third by own self reflection and thinking/observations. Notice that nowhere does Prophet Muhammad pbuh promote culture belief or customs, rather promotes logic and knowledge and reasoning, a perfect human context of today. That's what I love about Islam :)
You're getting married soon isit, imin84? If you do, congrats and all the best.... :)
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21/01/2008 5:12:38 AMdear imin84,
my mahr was more than the gifts exchange....for me the gifts didn't last...but my mahr (jewellery) lasts and very sentimental as well.....
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21/01/2008 5:26:53 AMdear imin84,
my mahr was more than the gifts exchange....for me the gifts didn't last...but my mahr (jewellery) lasts and very sentimental as well.....
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Between the gift exchange and the "Mahr",which has to be more?
Do people spend less on the gifts than to the "Mahr"?
Is there a minimum amount to "Mahr"?
Do people get married without any gift exchange?
125 pts
rookie
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