What is a hantaran?
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20/11/2007 9:24:13 PMYea, you got to point. I think you got the issue finally right based on the post you raised sometime relating to hantaran.
But then, while it's easy to say hantaran is not important but mahr is..can you convince the other side or your family so during wedding planning? Culture...is a complicated thing. Culture is a practise and form of racial pride. It's not something to get rid of usually...unless your reputation preceeds everyone in all the decision making here and there haha..
But it's up to you and the family. For me I personally have half feelings about this hantaran myself, it's cultural ( so it has a racial value) but cost inefficent. Can't help with this thinking though, especially in the "money mind" of s Singaporean haha...
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22/11/2007 9:26:18 AMFrom what i have research in terms of the Malay tradition of Hantaran. (wedding expences)
It's generally Gifts and some say that Hantaran includes the Mahr as well. Too many versions :S
The general idea is the Hantaran are the wedding expenses (cash) and also Gifts. The gifts are normally clothes, some accessories, cakes or 'kuih'( traditional cakes).
Now if you want the Mahr to be more, here's the thing right.
Wedding cost about average total of 20K nowadays...Are you gonna make sure you are in a budget of say..5K? even that, you will need to downsize your ceremony into a private family function. Like book a nice restaurant and have a meal or something yea. Or get a caterer to do catering for smaller function. Don't tell them that it's for a wedding if it's gonna be that small. And no fancy photographers or videographers? And maybe just one dress which you wear for your nikah?
Even if you have your wedding expences at that price...are you willling to pay 6k or 7 K for the mahr?
Here's a reality right if you wanna invite about 20 people..then u can cut down on your wedding expenses tremendously. Even lesser then what i've just said. And possibly pay for a higher Mahr.
If you can afford to pay a Mahr of 2K....then your hantaran is 1.5K maybe?? hence you will have to customize your wedding to something within that budget. well..it is possible. catering for abt 50 or below people is only a few hundred dollars. just simple dishes..nothing fancy. You provide your own plates. Sit on the floor kinda thing in your house.
IF you and your future partner is cool with this then why not. Wht's more important is how the marriage turns out. :)
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What is gift exchange? Is it being called hantaran?
Is it compulsory/necessary/optional?
Does the hantaran include the gifts we will be giving to our bride?
Correct me if I am wrong in whatever I am tring to say here. From what I gathered, "hantaran" is also known as Marriage Expenses. In which it is given to the bride's family for the so called "Wedding Ceremony". Why is it that some people say that "hantaran" are the gifts we are giving to our brides? And the Mahr is not inclusive in the "hantaran",am I right? Since Mahr is the upmost and important thing in marriage,can I say that we lower down on the "hantaran" and have more on the Mahr instead?
And knowing that the "hantran" is for the marriage expenses,there is no necessity to make 2 separate wedding ceremonies,right? Why have 2 when we can have one?
So,the conclusion I would like to come to is:-
"Hantaran" = Wedding Expenses AND
"Hantaran" DOES NOT = Gift Exchange
Correct me if I am wrong. I would like to clear my queries/doubts.
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rookie
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