Salam to all brothers and sisters out there.. Eid mubarak to all..
I have a qns here in regards to interaction with family during engaged. Im the only child while my fiance is the elder son of a family of 3. He has 1 sister & 1 brother below him. Definitely my parents are much more older than his.
My qns is to what extend do we need to give in to our fiance when it comes to family interaction. Me, being the only child and not close to the rest of my own relatives, I have no issues interacting with his family. In fact, Im much more close with his family than mine. So whenever his family have functions, I will not hesitate to join and if I doesn't, his aunties will call me up, asking me to come over even if its late. On the other hand, maybe because Im not close to my relatives, we seldom have any gatherings or functions. Even if there is, there will only be a mini gatherings involving my parents and myself. However I noticed that whenever we have mini gatherings or asked him to sit over at my hse for family interactions, my fiance will try to refrain himself from attending and he will give lots of excuses. Even if he comes by to my place, it will be just a few hrs and he will keep insisting to go back early. During courtship, he will try his very best to come by every weekend and if there is a need for us to reach hm late, he will surely call up my parents to seek permission. But lately, all this are not done and even my parents noticed the changes. But if I never comes by to his place at least once a week, he will try means and ways for me to go over even if its only for 30mins.
I find that this is very unfair for me and my parents. We will get married next year and he will be staying over with us. I want him to prepare himself before marriage so he wont feel awkward. But whenever I tell him this, he will said he also have parents to take care off. After marriage all will change. So im lost here. Everyone have parents and we need to be fair to both parties. We cant be one-sided. If I can sacrifice my time for his side, why cant he do the same thing? I know he is the eldest son. He has a lot of responsibilities waiting for him, be it now or after marriage. Same goes with me who is the only child of the family. My parents only have me to take care of them.
He always tell me he never for once force me to join him for the family gatherings. But me who will be their eldest daughter-in-law who wants to capture their feelings, I will try my best to attend just to avoid talks. For your info, I have sit down and discuss this issue with him. He will change only for a few weeks. After the next event, he will forget and give excuses again and we will end up quarrelling again.
Hence I really need all the bros and sis advise out there on what should I do. As at times because of this issues we often quarrel and I dont wish to make this an issue till marriage.
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