listening to you partner

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52 popularity votes

Intuitive
View ProfileIntuitive

rookie
1
votes
24/01/2008 12:37:21 PM

In my honest opinion , if I were in that situation. I would also be stubborn like him by not listening to his instructions and just ignore him because I like being my own person and I really dislike following other people's orders. But hey don't take my advice as this is me in that situation.

But if I were to let go of my ego and think rationally and not emotionally, I would probably say to him nicely that we are just engaged,not married and that I am still a daughter to my parents.

Getting married is a huge responsibilty. Both husband and wife need to know their responsibilities to each other.
I like to quote the following from the website IslamTomorrow.com
"A woman is expected to exercise a humanizing influence over her husband and to soften the sternness inherent in his nature. A man is enjoined to educate the women in his care so that they cultivate the qualities in which they, by their very nature, excel.

These aspects were much emphasized by the Prophet (peace be upon him). He exhorted men to marry women of piety and women to be faithful to their husbands and kind to their children. He said:

"Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. To each of such women is set down a reward equivalent to the reward of a thousand martyrs. Among my followers, again, the best of women are those who assist their husbands in their work, and love them dearly for everything, save what is a transgression of Allah's laws."

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77 popularity votes

sultana
View Profilesultana

fresh
0
votes
25/01/2008 7:47:55 AM

I like the way you answered Intuitive. honest, cheeky but beautiful too. :D

Putting aside if he's ur husband, finance, stranger or friend. If someone advice you from doing something that is bad or islamically against. Why not consider what they are trying to tell you?

There are miss interpretation that husband thinks that all their command should be adhere. Only those which are Islamically against as wife should adhere to by Islamic law. The wife will be rewarded by doing so as well. It doesn't mean that he should command you in doing the house work or cooking or go to work if you don't want to. He has no right to throw a trantrum if the kids are screaming and the house is in the mess.

Husbands are more like someone who hold you accountable if you do something terribly wrong Islamically. something like if you don;t pray 5 times a day, he can make you be accountable for that. If you lie and cheat, rob a bank, or attempt to blow up urself up in pieces etc...now those are things where he can step in and call u on account for that. But of course he isn't there to dominate you nor force you on anything. If he wants you to pray 5x a day, he has to make sure that he is doing that as well first.

Culture shock after marriage:

Both of you will go through that. Many things will evolve as you and ur finance gets to know who your partner really are, no matter how much you think you know ur partner now.


Knocking some sense in his head, coz he isn't ur husband yet:

I want you to consider if what he is saying to you is coming from the space that he loves and care about you. Rather than you feeling that he is telling you what you should or should be doing and dominating you. Have you ever advice someone on something? if you have i want you to think why you did that. was it because you were evil or because you care and want the best for them?