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12/03/2007 2:33:13 PMIts a sad fact that most marriages drift apart and become less exciting after a few years. All marriages goes into a cycle and it happen differently for different marriages.
I think the main thing which many people forget is when they are 'falling in love' or the courting stage...its like things just happen naturally and it takes almost no effort to keep things interesting. After the get married, it seems like things are harder and it all of a sudden takes in effort to makes things rolling.
i would like to assume personally marriage is far more interesting and richer. For every problem there's a solution. Always leave the communication line open, no judging your partner and be very clear in what you want. and "READ, READ, READ" i can't stress that more. Knowledge is power. if you don't understand what is going on, research and find out more.
(1) Couple first need to embrace their differences and understand that. After understand the differences try to accommodate and make the differences as a positive factor in your marriage dynamics.
(2) Our busy life can take away the bond between couples. Make a priority that your partner comes first. As soon as each of you comes home, greet each other, hugs and put aside least 5mins just to catch up, Find out how is your partner (without talking about the kids or your horrible day) and just enjoy each other's company for that few minutes and find out what each have been up to during the day.
(3) Set up once a week for a special date. make it a special date..not your dinner coffee date or your movie date. Make it a special date just for the two of you where you guys can talk in getting to know each other.( w/o the kids) Do not use this time to resolve your problems or an unresolved problem.Dress up for the date and plan something special each time. It doesn't have to be expensive. I sometimes go to a bookshop and pick out a book and we'll read it together, or going to a 2nd hand shop and pick out some nice furniture, or the museum..go on search for new places to eat, or donate blood,visit orpahanges ..etc etc..
(4) How do people resolve disagreement would give them a clue on how well the marriage is standing. That will set the tone and your deeper friendship with your partner. It's weird how couples would tell certain things to their friends but not to their partner. Make your partner your best friend, and share secrets with him/her.
(5) This is one of my favourite things to do. what me and my husband does is he'll leave me little notes on those yellow note pad before he leaves to work each day..and i'll try find them around the house. I'll sometime leave notes around for him too! and he'll be surprise to find them. The note that your write can be something not mushy, but its just nice to leave notes which say," i enjoyed spending time with you and make me warm and fuzzy." something like that i think you get the picture. You can improvise.
(6) Get to know your partner. People change each day and experience new things, so getting to know your partner should be a never ending quest. try taking an online personality test..u'll be surprise to know many things about your partner which you do not know of.
(7) Find out the things that your partner likes to do and have passion about. Have some knowledge about those things. It's will create a more exciting conversation. Try those things out as well, even if you don't like it.
(8) Spice up your bedroom life. If your sex life is getting dull, try doing something about it together. There are many ideas in books or online material about what you can try out. Not everything you read will appeal to you so just pick the ones that you are willing to try out.
Exchange those reading material and discuss what you might wanna try. Don't underestimate your partner and be afraid to talk openly about this. If you want things to change and be lively..communication and openness is the key. And don't judge your partner if he/she suggest anything.
(8) Go out on a getaway (just a weekend if a long trip is too costly) once in a while and leave the hectic life (and kids) behind, just enjoy being with your partner. Life is too short to be arguing about who is right or wrong. :D
Instead crack jokes at each other. ;)
That's about all i have on top of my head, hope it answers your question.
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12/03/2007 3:18:16 PMModerator Comment
Hi liagerl,
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13/03/2007 2:54:34 PMGood intercourse can transcend all roughness on the underfunded, badly paved, narrow, congested dirt track of marital bliss.
I assume that you're a female, I highly recommend a google for fellatio faq. It's a fairly long read but I can assure you it will breath new life into your marriage. For the men out there, cunnilingus faq will do it.
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3/04/2007 4:36:03 PMPlease look up Dr.Phil
I can assure you that if your read his book call "relationship rescue" you might have a good chance of making your marriage cherry and happy all the time. even if you think it's way too late.
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27/06/2007 4:43:13 PMim also a newly wed, ( married for 2 yrs ++++)
just treat everyday like a new day, communicate, sort out differences as it's not easy for 2 different people to live together, try to tahan each other temper, and trash things out, dont ever say things that will hurt each other
n don ever run away from problem... or run to parents for help
u r alre an adult, can ask for advise but not to seek refuge after a big fight, it will turn the relationship sour.
and of coz, try to spend some time just the 2 of u... for a rekindle of courtship days :)
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5/07/2007 1:51:39 AMto be able to give and take. something i pick up from bickering neighbours. hehe.
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16/07/2007 10:47:50 AMThink of it this way.... if this is your last month of existence, what will you do with your marriage, your spouse and your children. Don't wait for this to happen but make it alot more enjoyable with some planning to enjoy this day. Once this day is gone, it is gone forever, no matter how much you would love to have it back. Change your perspective and everything else will be fine. Insya Allah.
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27/07/2007 6:54:40 PMi tink baby can make married couple life not boring and cherrful but the problem is baby do alot of trobule but when u clear the trouble for them of coz u feel tired but they really did a big trouble ur still won't be tat angry
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how do we make marriage lively, happy and merry all the time?
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