If the husband makes his living and insists that his educated wife remain at home despite the fact that the wife has realised that she is going brain dead staying at home. Is she wrong in going against the husband's wishes ?
50 points 0votes 8/08/2009 9:29:07 AM
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YES!
A woman’s being patient in obeying her husband is one of the means of entering Paradise, as it says in the hadeeth narrated by Ibn Hibbaan: “If a woman offers her five daily prayers and fasts her month (i.e., Ramadaan) and guards her chastity and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you wish.’” This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 660.
if that is what he wishes, and he does not wish to compromise, then so be it. it is hard, i would not deny that, but she must find other things. Educate herself more and more about islam, listen to lectures, do various crafts, take up different hobbies. What he wishes for is not against islam and therefore the wife must obey. if he says 'do not pray' then a wife must not obey the husband because it is against Allah.
but my dear sister, a husband does not say 'stay home' because he feels like taking advantage of his rights. rather, many say it because they know the reality of the work places, that it poses risks, that a woman can be taken advantage of, that a man may seduce her. Perhaps she can teach in an islamic school and he will be ok? that compromise maybe?
but if that is what he wishes and does not want to compromise, then it is iindeed hard, but fear Allah. and remember the next life, wouldn't it be absolutely beautiful to enter from a door of our choice?
this life is short, disobeying him is not worth it, some extra money, marital problems perhaps, for what? For hell fire?
No. The husband is wrong in stifling the woman's desire to work. . The argument that a woman can be seduced at work is absolutely rubbish. Can a man not be seduced too by other women? Why the double standards? We live in a modern secular society where women have equal rights as men.
Forcing the woman to stay at home and take care of the kids hampers the ability for progress for not only the family but also for the Islamic society as a whole. The Islamic society is already being viewed with negativity; of being backwards, violent and fundamentalist. Keeping the woman in the house ala Taliban style is something we as modern Muslims have to move away from.
This does not mean defying the husband straight up because that wouldn't be helpful to the relationship. Instead, try talking to him over a period of a few weeks to slowly wear him down. Prepare your arguments but don't develop them into quarrels.Make him realise that you need your independence and that work provides it for you. Over time, if he really cares about you, God willing, he will relent.
Allow me to clarrify
Is she wrong for going against her husband? YES!!
theres my yes :)
is he correct? that differs. but again, if that is what he wishes then so be it. Islam does not say a woman should not work, but it is not her primary role to work. Therefore if he says no, and does not want to compromise, then she must accept. Perhaps that is why these things should be spoken about BEFORE marriage.
It's not about being in a modern society or not. We could then argue that religion is outdated and should not be applied to today.
If its a non muslim, well, then theres no real reason to listen to the husband except mutual respect I guess.
But its not about modernity. and yes, he could be seduced at work too, easily.
Is the woman at greater risk? possibly.
However it is the mans responsibility to earn a living for the family, and it is the womans primary role to look after her family and children. If these are fulfilled and she is capable of working too, then ok perhaps. But if he says no, then no it is.
If she goes against her husband, on the day of judgement will she say 'Oh Allah, I lived in a modern society, I wanted to work'?
I don't think so... I don't think so
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