I know this someone who is in a very complicated situation. She talked to me about it coz she didn't know where else to go to.
She kinda regret marrying her hubby of 2yrs. Her hubby abused her emotionally and that made her unable to think straight. She wasn't sure when she married him, but still did it anyway. She thought that if he changed, she might have the right feelings for him.
The hubby did change, he change totally to be a better husband who doesn't put her down and make her feel stupid like he used to. He make her feel special.
However, my friend does not feel in love with him. The feelings are more to appreciating him and loving him coz he takes real good care of her. To make matters worse, my fren feels like there is someone out there for her.
She recently bumped into her old time crush, and all the feelings that she thought were gone, came back. That guy was a friend and he was very sweet towards her. But then they lost contact. That made her wonder about her feelings towards her hubby, is it true love or mainly feel thankful.
So my question is, if u're in this situation would u tell the truth that u don't love him that way. Or do u jus keep it inside and just act as normal? Would that consider as living a lie? I really hope to get answers that are helpful for my friend.
I believe that for matters of the heart issues, there are no right or wrong answers. Your friend has to decide on her own what would be best for her in the future.
Some steps she can take are:
1) Stop meeting her old time crush for the time being, until she can sort out what she wants. Carrying on to meet her old flame may lead to something she may regret later, both in the relationship and religous sense.
2) Tell her to sort out certain things in her heart. Tell her to think honestly why she got into her current marriage. From there, ask her is it possible that her current marriage can work out, ask her is it possible that she may develop feelings for her husband. After all, her husband has changed for the better, and it is possible that feelings of love between her and her husband develops at a later stage.
3) She can seek the help of someone close to her in the family, a close relative or a friend. They definitely will have better advice to tell her as they know her personally. Alternatively, she can seek a marriage counsellor.
3) Tell her no to take any rash decisions. I feel that divorce should be the last option. I also believe only time will tell her which path she has to take. If after a certain amount of time (maybe a few months), she notices that there's no change in her heart and she believes that she can't be happy with her husband, then there is no choice but to divorce. But if she notices that her heart chooses her husband, then a divorce and broken hearts can be avoided, and her current marriage would be a happy one.
Thanks for ur reply.
Btw, when she got into the marriage, it wasn't a 100% decision. She wanted to break off the engangement but seems like the situation and her didn't allow it. She just went ahead thinking that she would end up divorcing him coz she never thoguht he could change.
that is y it is so hard for her at this stage when it was never a happy thing for her from the start.
Assalamualaikum,
I think your friend is a very confused lady.She married her husband and hoping that he will not change.It's very strange.We usually will be very happy and grateful to Allah that a person is able to change for a better.Her husband has proved that he can be a changed man.From the letter,I gathered that he is also a responible husband.So why must she be having second thoughts.It's sinful to think of other guys when you are already married. Everyone has their path and this is her's and her husband.
I think she should really sit down and discuss the issue with her husband or a family member.This should not continue.
How can she be sure that the ex friend of her's can be a good and loving husband?Try to instill the love for the husband.Always doa and God Almighty will listen.
Hopefully she will be able to solve her problem.... Insyaallah.
Since the husband already change,y not start life a new..its not love but lust for the old crush.God is forgiving..and gives us a chance..why not us,for our family..INSYA'ALLAH..everything turns out well..Doa so that god gives strength to the person we call...HUSBAND
0votes 30/09/2009 11:48:24 PM by eshmummy rookieAre you sure you wish to stop receiving email alerts for this Question?
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