to convert or not to?
Email this to a friend
0
votes
20/11/2007 9:15:08 PMHmm, actually she had the right to be scared. Conversion is a serious issue, as it can change a person ethically and emotionally. This even escalated when it include her family <sigh>. Also are you TRULLY prepared to give her moral support, trust and strength after her conversion, in hard times and in happiness?
Words and promises are empty talk always (sorry)... , it's the reality and commitment that counts.
Well, you can engage with her on basic religious issues when both of you are convenient to talk. Problem is sometimes , someone probably is not a practising muslim or other religion already , hence the other part feels that conversion is not an issue in their commitment. Setting an example is important, as it's the first step to get a person comfortable and trusting to the issue on conversion.
Be brave and truthfull when dealing with religion in discussion. With the negative conception of Islam around non-muslim in general, it'll only prove more more challeging. Overstrict, underlack of women's rights, terrorism..etc..This are some issues a muslim have to face and defend. Many are good people around, it's just that it's pitiful to see Islam being accused and potrayed what it is today. You haven't see some state of the 'outside world' which you maybe never know, i feel sad sometimes...
So, don't skip away from such problem, it's contagious really. Take it as a challenge. I think there are similar posts to yours in the NAsiBriyaniLounge.com. Do take a look and share with us your issues/problems. Sharing is a key to greater understanding :) ....Be positive and truthfull when you face this with your girlfriend, and have support and have faith in each other k?
0
votes
23/11/2007 10:25:48 AMYou know what, I went through this in my personal life. I am not suggesting that you do what I do but would like to share my story.
My first love was a Chinese, Budhhist, the only daughter in a rich family. We were in love and told my folks about proposing to her. My father's only wish was that she be a Muslim which I accepted. When I told her this, she too accepted and when she told her parents, they freaked out. They packed their bags and left with their daughter to the USA without even saying goodbye. There are things in life that we do not understand as the years went by and the pain began to reduce I realise the advice that my father gave me is indeed the best. I now see so many converts having their challnges after their marriages because they did not make a stand for Islam. Somethings are negotiable but we need to take a stand for Islam. The positive way of looking at it is that if she is not willing, then it is not fated and believe and put your trust in Allah. I took 7 years before I found my second love and my current wife and I have no doubt in my mind that Allah has blessed me even more. We are all Muslims and are now helping others keep Islam as their religion as well in the light of challenges like yours.
remember that this world is temporary and the hereafter is what we are striving for. Hopefully this will help in your decision maing process. May Allah guide you. Ameen.
1
votes
24/11/2007 10:59:32 PMAsk her if she would still want to become a Muslim if you decided not to marry her.
If she says no, it's best not to pursue this.
She should become a Muslim because she wants to, not because it is a condition for her to marry you.
Also, try to find out why she says your support won't be enough. She sounds like a very intelligent person that knows herself well.
Allahu Aalam
0
votes
28/11/2007 9:12:10 PMZoomie has a point. A rather popular sheikh around here was just talking bout this the other day in a lecture.
and he said that if its a non-muslim tell them you dont wanna be with them anymore and see if they still want to convert. and if they do then you can tell em you were just messing with their head :)
well to put that more nicely, you were just seeing if they really wanted to believe in Allah and his messenger.
If you try and convince to convert because 'youll always be there to support her', well you'll regret it later down the track and so will she.
All the best mate
0
votes
28/11/2007 10:14:58 PMModerator Comment
Hi Lost boy.
We have Been emailing you about your log in problems. If you read this reply, please check your junk mail as all our emails might have gone to your junk mail.
0
votes
20/12/2007 11:29:30 AMlost_boy san,
Luckily my parents did freak out but did not escape to anywhere.
What I suggest you are below;
1)Be patient
You need to wait until she get really convinced of being Muslim is right thing to do and this choice must be indenpent of relationship with you. To convince her by word will not work. It will only scare her.
2)You have to be a good Muslim,
You need to convince her with your (or could be other people's) right conduct as a muslim. Probably, this is the most powerful weapon Muslims have. Be a right guy. By the way, DO NOT convince anybody to convert to Islam by word. Forcing Islam to other people is a sin.
3)You need to know about Islam,
When she ask you certain things about islam, it is probably the only chance for you to explain about Islam and lead her to the right path. However if you are not well prepaired, quite possibly you may fail to explain about islam, which should discourage her. As far as I know, most of practicing converts have better idea about what Tawheed is ( I don't say they understand Tawheed. In fact, who can?) than born Muslims in general, which implies that they gone through certain amount of learning process. If you can only say things such as"Isalm is also a religion of peace" or anything, nobody will find a reason to convert because all the other religions also manifests peace, love, harmony etc.
Wish Allah(SWT)'s blessing be upon you and your girl friend.
© 2007 Nasi Briyani Lounge.
Home | About Us | Contact | FAQs |
Blog |
Sitemap | Tell a Friend.
Brand and design by Nasi Briyani
I am a Muslim with a chinese girlfriend. In the past, she had mentioned that she did not mind converting if we were to get married one day. But recently, she has had a change of heart and she is scared of converting. Scared that a few years down the road she will regret converting. I had already assured her that I'll always be there for her but she kept saying that it won't be enough. What will be your advice for me to convince her that I'll always be there to support her?
125 pts
rookie
0
votes