Asking someone to convert for marriage
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26/11/2007 4:44:14 PMHi Zoomie,
You have a sincere and honest view if you say something like that. Yeah, it is an issue to sigh of course; that¡¦s life in earth you see. Based on your post, this is possible if one looks at the POV in devotion, love and commitment. Love is unconditional, hence it can bring hardship and suffering to ease at many times ƒº.
Islam as a practice law of reality
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However, while it's true that feelings and love is unconditional, it may not necessary be practical and good. For example, the terrorist who bombs cars, houses, innocent people. Horrible do they, but they 'love' their job unfortunately, so that love that we hoped for? Horrible people abuse others or those commit criminal homicide. They had ¡¥love¡¦ for the sickness, so is that okay to follow?
Islam, (thank God) put the limits (by a measure of life balance) and rules (as guidance) pertaining this subject called love, even to the obligation God Almighty itself. For example, God does not allow it's believer to transgress in their practise of their religion in love for God (e.g. in Quran 2:190-2,5:94, 10:23,50:25-29 ) because such belief could turn to sin and disaster for himself or for other people.
Reason for conversion in Islam
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The reasons I have discussed in another posts. In such cases where marriage without religious concern is involved, these problems will arise;
1) If you are the child growing up with two parents of two different religions, and both feel that religion is not the issue, the child would think, ¡§Then what¡¦s so important about religion anyway!¡¨ (Number 1 issue among youngster today who¡¦s facing this same scenario like my friends ƒ¼ )
2) Should conflict occur within parental or marital rights, which law to follow/surface to resolve the issue? Islamic? Or civil? Or other religious authority? Will they clash in difference of views or create kinds of conflict?
3) Similar like Number 2, only this time it concerns inheritance when someone has passed away? Which law to apply? What if the civil/law is against the law of Islam e.g., difference/conflict in distribution of inheritance?
4) As children of such a scenario, they will have to go and attend to two different religious occasion(s) or gathering when such time comes between each time, out of faith and respect. The children would be confused with the act of sinful and lawful in both or their religion, especially when two religions were different in practices and beliefs?
These are just four problems out of many possible if such were to occur in real life. In marriage where there are two complete different faiths, the problem will affect even the family culture; more Islamic, more liberal or atheistic etc¡K?
If you¡¦re expecting ¡¥happily ever after¡¦ in marriage, then it¡¦s time to welcome to the real world¡K this world is about living for peace, so there will always be differences. Tolerance, promoting equal rights, understanding, love through guidance, justification of laws etc. These are the practical laws and thoughts in Islam.
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2/12/2007 2:31:13 PMWell, anyone has a right to ask.The tough part is, what is the right answer to explain when such question is asked.
Zoomie is not the first person to ask this difficult question. Others, whether muslims and christians and buddhist friends, asked me this similar question before i'm sure everyone else. People have different view on this topic; whether personal like zoomie or on a larger society perspective like me. Allah knows best, he is our creator and the fashioner is all creation.
Pretending that we know/understand everything and so-and-so is reckless and moral risk.We have to really sit, think, learn and understand and discuss the problem and issue. That's how one's mind progress.
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2/12/2007 5:09:25 PMEvery reason given for why someone should convert to Islam for marriage purposes is equally valid reasons for why someone should convert FROM Islam to another. I'm sure they too believe they have the right to ask.
Yes, marriage does not last forever, and this is why I find it selfish. What happens then to the persons Iman after the marriage breaks up, especially if the family has disowned them and you were their main support. If they revert back to their old religion, then it really was only for the sake of the person they married. Not really a good reason to be accepting Islam (to please another person).
Someone accepting Islam is definitely a personal event, not so much a societal one. Also, how people behave in their marriage is personal too. Society will have on effect on that behavior, but I would hope that a Muslim has a strong enough personality not to be influenced by the unIslamic aspects of society. Society is still made up of people. If people are strong then society is strong, and if people are weak, then the society is weak.
Quite frankly if people chop and change religion depending on who they marry then it really is turning religion into a joke.
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4/12/2007 10:59:31 PMIt all depends on how people think at the end. If you care about your religion, then you should know what to do and prepare to face the problem...
No point arguing and blaming on the fault of religion of Islam or other religions/beliefs. Views may differ, but each with a reason and logic of their own.
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20/12/2007 12:35:43 AMIf your intention is for you to experience the beuty of Islam for herself, I do not see it as a selfish request. You need to be honest & upfornt & not force anyone. If Allah accepts & based on your true intensions, it will happen, insya'Allah.
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12/04/2008 6:55:07 PMi have been with a muslim man for a year and a half now. i intend to become muslim and we intend to marry next year. islam hadn't really entered my life until i met him. to say it is wrong to expect some one to do it for you and not for them i agree is true, but once done surely islam has its affects on the persons life? i am scared of how my family are going to react, but if i want to be with him, i have to become muslim. it's not as simple as wether you beleive or not for me, but i don't think anyone with serious objections to islam as a religion would marry a muslim in the first place. to ask some one who strictly follows a different faith however would be selfish, as they too could have asked you to convert also. i once asked my partner if he would convert for me and to him it was a joke. This was hurtful, but as im a non-practising catholic i guess he didnt see it as serious. i often wonder though, if i were the muslim and he didnt really belong to any strict religion, would i be able to expect the same from him? and of corse, would he put himself through the conversion for me? - and risk of losing family.
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11/05/2008 1:50:58 AMHi Whoknows,
Well, to be honest, we all agree, eitherr who or what we are, conversion of another faith is heart-breaking. I'm sure you're persuing a troubling and challenging path ahead in your life and I admire your courage and hope (compared to your bf). But if you are honest and willing, please, give your Catholic religion and Islam a fair comparision and study, and the best is to speak and discuss with people who knows religion and books. I do not encourage debates, as their agenda is more 'focused', and most of the time their points are always directive and 'assaulting'. You may get hurt, dissapointed or angry along the way as you learn more, but importantly never stop learning and understanding and speaking out your views :) Whether you would convert or not, either way, God-willing, take your path sincerely.
Holy Bible(Isaiah 1:18) Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD...
Hole Quran(3:64)"..O people of the book!(e..g Christians and Jews) come to common terms as between us and you...."
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Does anyone else find this to be a selfish request?
I would never want someone to become Muslim for my sake. They really should do it for their own sake.
Many times when someone changes their religion, their face great hardship from their family, sometimes even being disowned. If this person chose Islam because they truly wanted to, they would be more likely to have the patience to deal with this issue. If they do not truly want to become Muslim, then their choice really is between their family and you.
Even after getting over this major hurdle, you'd really have to ask yourself if your partner is praying, fasting etc. for the sake of Allah, or because that is what you expect them to do now as a Muslim.
It is one of the greatest deeds to bring someone into Islam, but when I hear about someone becoming Muslim for marriage, I tend to question the intent behind the action.
125 pts
rookie
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