My bf and me has been together for 3yrs.We finally decides to tie the knot.I am a single mum with a 7yrs old kid.Although its hard to my bf to accept,he did it bcoz of his love to me.Now,its seems more harder when his parents are the conservative one.They find it difficult to accept me.Due to my perserverance,they finally accepted me.
Lately,one of his aunties demanded to meet me one-to one session(she said getting know better)..but before this,she ever said some remarks to my bf abt me.I didnt knw his family cannot accept my race-BOYAN.His aunty said that boyan ppl are cunning and bad.She is more shocked when my bf confesses that I am a single mum.She humiliate me telling all the bad points I had in me,to my bf.MY bf told me all this.And he wanted me badly to meet his aunty.(thinking that she will react differently)
I told my siblings about this.They are all very angry.My bro said If i ever meet his aunty,it feels like "i do not have any maruah".aft all,it is him who is marrying me.His aunty shouldnt judge me.I know they cant accept me as a single mum.His aunty keep telling my bf "dun ever make the wrong choice".
My bf pester me to meet his aunty.I know if I were to be criticise by his aunty,he will NOT protect me.My siblings would be angry if I meet his aunty.
-Im scared its a trap by his aunty.
-Im scared his aunty judge me,interrogate me with questions abt the sins i made 7yrs ago
-Im scared everything turns out well..
My bf would be very sad if i didnt go..
Im confused and sad.
Salam PinkWave,
I guess it's difficult to change one's perspective.
I think that you should talk things out with your boyfriend.It's bad that his family is against it .Do not make matters worst if your family too gets angry.You will need your family's support.
My only advice is that you should really think about it carefully.Will his family be able to accept you and your child?
Now that you have a child,you should also give him some thought. He will suffer if they are unable to accept him.
Hope that you will make the best choice for you and your child.
Remember that the best choice might not be the best option.
Wassallam.
Salam fifany,
thanks for your advice.his family didnt like me as a single mum.they seriously think that I dont deserve such a good guy like my bf.as for now..the only thing i could do is doa n doa always to Allah.like u always said..the best choice might not be the best option. i have thought it out..
i have accepted that..we can only planned what we think is best for us..at the end of the day Allah is the one who decides for us.I redha.
Wasalam.
Salaam Sis,
Please please think carefully before comitting yrself with yr bf. Just a humble opinion. What's a marriage if you dun feel secure with the man who'll eventually be yr husband?
At the end of the day, you must be happy with the choice you've made...
May Allah guides you to the right path, insya-Allah....
For the sake of your child, do consider before remarrying coz if you are not accepted by your boyfriend's family, then its inevitable that your child may be subjected to evil, negative remarks by his family members. Remember, marriage involves family not just your bf. A child deserves the best. Do what is best for your child. May allah guide you
0votes 2/07/2009 10:53:39 PM by sf rookie
Salam ALL,
thanks alot for the advices.I did meet up his aunt..Its true his aunt criticises me alot for the whole 2hours.For 7years since the birth of my son..i have never been so demoralised this way before.Of course,my bf was happy that I followed his way.He never cared abt my feelings.It felt so sad.I know my bf is having doubts on marrying me now..
He told me...if he marries a dara..it could me 95% happiness n 5% of suffering.while if he marries a single mum me it would be 95% of suffering n 5% of happiness..he even thinks that I have put a spell on him(coz i am BOYAN)..even aft we have a 3yrs relationship.
he got me really thinking..that I shouldnt be with this guy..
May ALLAH bless and guide me the right path.
Assalamualaikum.
Your situation must be very difficult and you are strong to go through this test. InsyaAllah you will be blessed doing the right thing and respecting the elders and your boyfriend.
Maybe you can make du'a to Allah in your solat and do the Istikhara: The Guidance Prayer. "Istikhara" means to seek goodness from Allah (Exalted is He), meaning when one intends to do an important task they do istikhara before the task. The one who does the istikhara is as if they request Allah Almighty that, O the Knower of Unseen (Exalted is He) guide me if this task is better for me or not?
Link to how to do Istikhara prayer:
http://www.islamicacademy.org/...
Wassalam wr. wb.
Assalamualaikum Pinkwave,
I think you have made the right choice by meeting the aunt.The meeting has allow you to better understanad your bf. As you have said" For 7years since the birth of my son..i have never been so demoralised " it's just not worth to be a part of this family. Seek guidance from Allah and Insyaallah,He will give you the right answer.It might not be soon but the answer will be given.
All the best for you sis.My prayers are with you.
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